Religion Jokes

Spotted on a church marquee: "Love your enemies; After all, You made them."

As church secretary, I prepare the bulletin for each week’s services. One Sunday morning, I heard snickering from the pews. Quickly grabbing the bulletin, I found the cause. The sermon title for that day was: "What Makes…

A man with a huge grin approaches a priest. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he says. "I’ve spent the week with seven beautiful women.” "Do not fret, my son,” says the priest. "All…

After ringing cell phones ruined a service, our rabbi laid down the law in the latest temple newsletter: "Let’s turn off the technology and turn on each other."

My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the Christmas pageant. All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph, "There is no room at the inn." But during the performance—after Joseph begged for a room…

The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or sentences that are the same read forward and backward. I asked the question "What is the first thing Adam said to Eve?" I was expecting the answer "Madam…

When our minister and his wife visited our neighbor, her four-year-old daughter answered the door. "Mom!"she yelled toward the living room. "God's here, and he brought his girlfriend."

A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross for her boyfriend. I showed her a selection, and she pointed to three: "Can I see that one, that one, and the one with the little man on it?" "Oh," I…

Meeting with my new pastor, I asked if I could have a church service when I eventually die. "Of course," he said, grabbing his date book. "What day do you want?"

En route to church to make his first confession, my nervous seven-year-old grandson asked me what he could expect. "Confession is where you tell all the bad things you've done to the priest," I told him. He looked…