Silly Signs

An elevator in our office building is frequently out of order. The last time, maintenance posted a sign that summed up the situation: Elevator Closed for Temporary Repairs.

While the choice of words might be off, a pharmacy near Dover Air Force Base in Delaware is doing its part to help soldiers serving abroad. A sign in the store reads: Place suggestive items in donation box to be sent to our soldiers…

Check out these purr-fectly fine classifieds: "Free to good home: Young cat, speaks Spanish."

When a neighbor's home was burglarized, I decided to be more safety conscious. But my measly front-door lock wasn’t going to stop anyone, so I hung this sign outside: "Nancy, don’t come in. The snake is loose…

As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor. "Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks…

A sign outside a nursery: "It's spring! We're so excited, we wet our plants!"

"Wedding band—Ladies' size 5, gold, 5 diamonds, $250. Worn only 32 days by an old, narcissistic witch."

"For sale—Blue sofa with two attached lazy boys."

"Nice 2-bedroom home. The owner has noted that there are termites that have done some damage. Selling house 'as is.' Don't Wait. This Wonderful Property Will Not Last Long."

Man Found Dead in Lake Was a Lonely Drifter