Sports Jokes

You don't have to be an athlete to work out these sports jokes.

Cut and Run

The one thing I’ve learned from the World Cup is that…

Poor Sports

Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football…

Virginal Word Choice

The topic of my student’s essay was the importance of…

10-Pin Puns

I recently stumbled upon 
my favorite new sports team…

The Camper's Second Opinion

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on…

If I’m on the Course and Lightning Starts…

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside…

Swimming is Confusing…

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it…

Lunchtime MVP

Bacon was definitely the 
first-round draft pick in the…

It’s weird that NFL players…

It’s weird that NFL players don’t constantly look at…

I prefer the tight yoga pants…

I prefer the tight yoga pants football players wear over…

Anyone who thinks women…

Anyone who thinks women talk too much has never sat through…

My dad didn’t text…

My dad didn’t text me after the Patriots game, which is…

The rules of football…

The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the…

Anyone who’s just driven…

Anyone who’s just driven 90 yards against huge men trying…

Definition, Please?

During graduate school, I tutored a football player in…

Your Move

“I was playing chess with my friend, and he said…

In Training

I identify with football players because I know what…

Dangerous Name

When my 15-year-old son, Pat, stepped up to the plate…

Not Looking Good

I already regret my choice of Juilliard to win the NCAA.

Women and Sports

The reason women don’t play football is that 11 of…

Changing Money

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street…

Fitness Tip

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize…

Fighting for Honor

In honor of our armed forces, the University of South…

Our 15 Favorite Football Jokes

Read our funniest jokes just in time for the Super Bowl.

Team Support

While I was working security at a football game, a fan…

Defensive Driving

I’m not good at sports, but I like parallel parking…

No "I" in Team

One of the players on our junior high football team never…

On the Sidelines

I was sprawled on the living-room couch watching my…

Teed Off

Fred comes home from his usual Saturday golf game…

Good Seats

Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an…

Translation

Q: How do you say "Michael Phelps" in Chinese? A:…

By the Seasons

When the patient was wheeled into the emergency room, I…

Spare Change Date

Football finally makes sense. A guy took his blonde…

15 Funny Football Jokes

1. Petty Theft Football players at the high school where I…

Being a Good Sport

Halfway through dinner one night, our friend Jim told us of…

Telephone Number

As a high-school football coach, I’m aware that…

Proud Parent

I was sitting behind an enthusiastic mom at my son’s…

Helping Out

Our high school has lots of spirit, but that didn’t…

Classic Feelings

As a Catholic, I’m partial to Notre Dame football. As…

Losing the Game

Driving home dejected from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, after a…

Unconscious

Standing on the sidelines, during a game being played by my…

Surgery at the Game

On a Saturday afternoon when football fever was running…

Running Days

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run…

Rooting for the Other Team

About to have a blood test, I nervously waited while the…

Exercise Route

My husband bought an exercise machine to help him shed a…

Never Going Away

Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old…

Benchwarmer

It was the first day of basketball practice at Wingate high…

Batter Up

I played for a semipro baseball team. At every game we sold…

Rooting for the Right Team

Blood may be thicker than water, but baseball beats them…