rd.com Blog: Holiday Blog: Gift Ideas, Family Togetherness and More

Resolution No-No's

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 10:24:00 EST

Tip One: Don't make your resolutions on January 1st or pretty much anytime in January.

It sounds counter to everything you've ever done, but maybe there's a reason we don't succeed at New Year's Resolutions. I hear from so many people who are frustrated because every year is the same. Why can't I lose the weight/quit smoking/get over the relationship/find my dream job? I've already fallen off the wagon and I am still in the first week of January!

This year, it might help to look at your goals a bit differently. To that end, The First 30 Days is offering a free guide to help you get your goals solidified for 2009. I'll tell you now that it's not a step-by-step how-to guide. You probably already know how to lose the weight or save money. This is about changing your mindset when it comes to change.

One important thing I will share is that people who are good at change are much kinder, more gentle with themselves. Allow yourself to be human, don't have impossible demands for yourself, don't set the bar at 'perfection' level. Lighten up. It's a defect of character to put so much pressure and so many demands on yourself.

Also, some days you just wont want to pursue a goal and that's fine. The energy of 'wanting' is much more effective than 'I should' do something.

Get the guide to find out more (its free!) at http://www.first30days.com/. It covers the typical mistakes we all stumble upon, offers some inspiration when you don't have any, and different ways of looking at a resolution that take so much of the pressure away and still let you get the goal you want!

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change.

For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit http://www.first30days.com/

To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

What to Focus On in 2009

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:17:00 EST

If you're having trouble finding clarity on what to focus on in the coming year, here are some ideas.

* Instead of wanting to be right, be kind.

* Instead of focusing on what you did wrong or what is worth being upset about, focus on all that is right.

* Instead of looking at what has changed, look at what hasn't changed.

* Instead of coming to the end of another day and being obsessed with what went wrong, find what you can be grateful for.

* Instead of feeling out of control, find ways to trust more.

* Instead of saying mean things to yourself, choose to take control of that inner voice and create a loving inner dialogue.

* Instead of letting an excuse rule your life, make 2009 the year that you step into your power and see how limiting that excuse has been.

* Instead of comparing yourself to someone else and making yourself feel small, ask yourself: Am I better than my 2008 self?

Anyone of these commitments will radically alter 2009 for you for the better. Choose one from the list above and commit to it fully. Then when you're ready, add another. In times of intense change, transition and crises, our dominant emotions come out even more strongly. You need to take control of what you are focusing on, especially when the media, pessimistic people and everything else in your life are constantly challenging your attention. This year, you will choose what to focus on. Remember, you will get more of what you focus on. You will attract that which you give your attention and energy to. Put out the energy you want more of.

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change. For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit www.first30days.com To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

Finding Peace Within for 2009

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 08:31:00 EST

If you're feeling anxious about the changes that will come your way, here are a few things you can do to welcome in the New Year with a sense of peace and calm.

* Write a letter to yourself, and have it come from your Higher Self. Go through what happened this year, and let your wiser self give you advice.

* Write a letter to anyone who you feel incomplete with and need closure. Don't send it. Write it for yourself and for your healing. Say exactly what needs to be said, and don't hold back.

* Give yourself the gift of forgiving someone who hurt you this year. You can do this in person, over the phone or quietly in your own space. Include yourself in this exercise. What mistake, regret or action do you need to forgive yourself for this year?

* Accept your family exactly the way they are. Have no expectations that they will be different this time around, whether it's during the holidays or through the next year. Do not expect them to understand you or any choices/decisions you've made or are planning to make.

* Figure out the few things you can do to reenergize yourself, since you will probably need to turn to these things in the coming year. Does walking in nature get you energized? Does working out get your engines running? Is it sleeping in? Prayer? Meditation? Writing? Be clear about what you need more of to continue on your path.

* What's the top excuse that gets in your way? Write it down and make friends with it. Ask yourself: Is this really true? Who would you be and what would you do without this excuse?

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change.

For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit http://www.first30days.com/

To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

The 9 Principles of Change: What makes change easier

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 08:54:00 EST

In 2008, I released my book, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change. This was the culmination of numerous interviews I did with people who had gone through all types of changes, from starting a business to getting divorced, from falling in love to adopting a child, from losing a job to grieving a loved one. I became obsessed with understanding why some people are good at change and pursue the change they want, while others stumble, struggle or are paralyzed by change for months or years.

What makes change easier? How do you become a change optimist, someone who embraces change? As we approach another year, with another chance to embrace life, make those changes we only dream of and wonder how we could get started, I wanted to share the principles I learned, courtesy of many people who demonstrated courage, strength, wisdom, hope and an ability to manage change.

Print these out; put them on your desk, refrigerator or bathroom mirror. There will be some principles you're already familiar with, and some that will trigger you into action. Look at them below and ask yourself: Which one is hardest for me? Commit to putting some of your focus on that this year. Flex that change muscle and become a change optimist as we go into another year full of surprises, uncertainty and guaranteed change!

1. People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.

2. People who successfully navigate change know that change always brings something positive into their lives.

3. People who successfully navigate change know they are resilient, strong, and capable of getting through anything.

4. People who successfully navigate change know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them and will guide them to positive emotions that help them feel better.

5. People who successfully navigate change know that the quicker they accept the change, the less pain and hardship they will feel.

6. People who successfully navigate change use empowering questions and words, think better thoughts, and express their feelings.

7. People who successfully navigate change know they are connected to something bigger than themselves.

8. People who successfully navigate change are not alone; they surround themselves with people who can help, who have the right beliefs and skills. And they create an environment that supports their change.

9. People who successfully navigate change take action. They have a plan and know how to take care of themselves.

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change.

For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit www.first30days.com

To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

Guaranteed Ways to Succeed at Resolutions

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 08:51:00 EST

I am often asked why so many people don't change and don't reach their goals in the New Year. Here are my top reasons why people fail and my very best advice for beating the odds. These are all tips I have used personally and have recommended to folks who have gone on to make all the changes they ever wanted! Give it a try.

1. Don't make any New Year's resolutions on January 1. Actually, don't even make them in the first two weeks of the year. Most people I've met or interviewed who have succeeded at a change never started on Jan 1. This is the worst time to set goals, when you're fighting with the memory of failing at previous resolutions. Plus, it's right after the holidays, you're probably still eating unhealthy food, the weather is bad and you have to go back to the daily grind at work. Be on the lookout for that feeling where you say to yourself, "This is a change I want to do, not something I have to do." You'll know when the time is right.

2. Give yourself twice as much time to get to there. We all overestimate how much we will change in January and when we can't do it, we give up. Then we underestimate how much we could change in three, six or nine months and fail to make the effort. If you make your overall goal more important than the timing of your goal, you will succeed.

3. Find someone who has already achieved a similar goal, find out what worked and make a plan. You need information to find the pathway to success. Don't try to do this alone. You need a plan. People who have achieved a similar goal to yours have that knowledge, and often want to help someone else in the same position. Don't be shy. Ask for guidance.

4. Focus on one or two goals at a time. When you have five things you want to change in your life, nothing will change. When you constantly know the two things you want, your decisions and actions associated with those two things are much clearer. Clarity is the key to success. Your brain is much more effective when it only has one or two things to focus on at all times. Ask yourself: What is the one thing that would make me really happy if it happened this year?

5. Choose a word of the year. It could be an emotion such as patience or faith. It could be a word, such as saying "yes" to things even when those things scare you. It could be a focus, such as "book," if your goal is to write that great novel, or "debt-free" if you want to get your finances in order. Think of this word as your mantra-a word that reminds you of your goals and motivates you to reach them.

6. Choose an overall theme for the year. This is an intention that touches all aspects of your life and can last all year. For example, your theme could be "put family first" if you usually put work first, or "put health first" if it's time to start taking care of yourself. You could also use "enjoy being my age" or "be honest." Whatever it is, you should feel comfortable repeating it to yourself. This is the filter with which you then approach your day.

7. Make two lists: One of things you want to create, the other of things you want to give. This has no timeline on it. It's fine if it takes all year to complete. This is a very different way to look at getting something done this year. It taps into your creative energy, most powerful energy you have. Also, it taps into your giving energy, which deep down we all want to feel we are giving and contributing to something that has meaning. When the creating and giving are in balance, things start to happen for you.

8. Commit to helping someone else reach a goal. We do so much more for other people than we do for ourselves. Ask a friend or family member what goal he or she wants to achieve this year, and then tell this person you will help him or her to reach it. This is very rewarding and works so much better than trying to go at it alone.

9. Commit to always using the Change GPS. A GPS navigation system in your car only cares about two questions. Where are you now, and where do you want to go?
At any moment, any day, ask yourself these two questions: Where am I now? Where do I want to go? Resolutions and goals are daily commitments, not something you make once at the beginning of the year. Every day is another chance to get closer. Remember, a GPS doesn't beat you up for mistakes you did yesterday. It gives you a clean slate every time.

10. Every small step, decision or action counts and should be noticed. Don't postpone celebrating until you've reached your goal. Every time you make a positive step in the right direction, acknowledge yourself. Your brain needs to know it's doing something right.

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change.

For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit http://www.first30days.com/

To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

Your Personal Year in Review

Ariane de Bonvoisin — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:06:00 EST

At the end of a year, our minds can feed us some pretty tough questions.

Why didn't you lose the weight? Why did you not sell those stocks and get into cash? Why are you still single?

Whatever question is tormenting you, it's time to get your mind to focus on what really matters now. Remember, you get what you focus on. Here are 10 questions to print out, answer and give some attention to. Get your friends and family to answer them as well. You will learn a lot about each other if you do.

What was the best thing that happened to me this year?

What did I do this year that I'm really proud of?

Who did I really help?

Who do I need to thank and acknowledge for having been there for me?

What are the top three lessons I learned?

What increased my happiness and joy this year?

What's something I got through that was really tough?

What did I avoid that I must pay more attention to in 2009?

What character trait did I develop most this year?

What new people did I meet that are now in my life?

Some of these questions may take some time and thought to answer, and that's OK. At the end you should be able to see that you've made some progress on at least one front in your life. Give yourself a bit of credit for that!

Ariane is the author of the best-selling book, The First30Days; Your Guide to Any Change. For more information and inspiration about making any change easier, please visit www.first30days.com

To learn more about Ariane, please visit http://www.first30days.com/ariane/get-to-know-me

MMMMMM....Maple Glazed Walnuts

Ellie Krieger — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:40:00 EST

If you are looking for the perfect gift to bring to a holiday party, one that is festive and indulgent, but also healthy, easy to make and won't break the bank, these Maple Glazed Walnuts are the answer. I make a big batch of them every holiday season. I pack them up in pretty jars, wrapped with ribbon and I have the all around ideal present. They are positively addictive to eat on their own. They make a glorious addition to a cheese tray, and they are delightful on top of whipped sweet potatoes or sprinkled in salad.

Maple-Glazed Walnuts

2 cups walnut halves

1⁄3 cup pure maple syrup

1⁄8 teaspoon salt

Preheat a dry medium skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Add the walnuts, maple syrup, and salt. Cook, stirring frequently until the syrup is caramelized and the nuts are toasted, about 3 minutes. Let cool. The nuts will keep in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

SERVES 6

Makes 2 cups;
Serving size: 1⁄3 cup

Per Serving

Calories: 265;
Total fat: 22g
            Mono: 3g,
            Poly: 16g;
            Sat: 2g,
Protein: 5g;
Carb: 16.5g;
Fiber: 2g;
Chol: 0mg;
Sodium: 51mg

Excellent source of copper, manganese

Good source of magnesium, molybdenum, phosphorus, protein, zinc

Winter Wonderland Activities

Ellie Krieger — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 06:33:00 EST

Just because it is blustery outside doesn't mean you have to be stuck inside on the sofa. Getting out into the fresh air to take advantage of seasonal activities can invigorate you, lift your spirits, and help you burn off some of those holiday cookies. Simply bundling up and going for a brisk walk can do a world of good. But there are so many other options. Make a date with a friend to go ice skating. If there is snow, take advantage! Rent a pair of cross country skis or snow shoes and go out exploring. Or take the kids sledding or snow man building. It may be tough to motivate out of your cozy lair at first, but you will be so glad you did. When you get back, warm up with this rich, nutritious hot cocoa.

Vanilla Hot Cocoa

1 cup nonfat milk

1 cinnamon stick

2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons sugar

2 teaspoons water

1⁄4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1⁄4 teaspoon shaved dark chocolate

In a small saucepan, heat the milk and cinnamon stick over medium-low
heat until scalding hot (little bubbles will start forming around the edge
of the pan), about 4 minutes. While the milk is warming, put the cocoa and sugar in a mug. Add the water to the mug and stir until it has the consistency of a paste. Remove the cinnamon stick from the milk, add the cocoa mixture and vanilla to the milk, and whisk until slightly frothy. Pour into the mug, top with the chocolate shavings, and enjoy.

SERVES 1 -- makes one 8-ounce mug

Per Serving

Calories: 155;
Total fat: 4g
            Mono: 1g,
            Poly: 0g;
            Sat: 2g,
Protein: 9g;
Carb: 22g;
Fiber: 1g;
Chol: 14mg;
Sodium: 119mg

Excellent source of calcium, vitamin D

Good source of protein, vitamin A

Holiday Open House

Ellie Krieger — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:34:00 EST

The holidays are a time to reconnect with loved ones, relax and indulge in fabulous festive food. One of my treasured traditions which bring these elements together is the open house I have during holiday week where I encourage friends, family and neighbors to pop in at their leisure for a visit. It's a low-key and fun way to catch up with everyone.

Of course I always have plenty of goodies to offer them, from some hot mulled cider to fresh baked muffins. But I always have a hearty meal ready for those who drop by with more of an appetite. These Sloppy Joes are the ideal open house meal. They are crowd pleasing, decadent beef sandwiches, made healthy with beans and extra veggies and smothered in a tangy tomato sauce sweetened with molasses. I leave the pot simmering on the stove or in a crock pot, alongside a basket of sandwich buns so guests can help themselves. I just always make sure to put out lots of napkins!

Sloppy Joe Recipe

1 pound lean or extra-lean (90% lean or higher) ground beef

1 medium onion, diced (about 11⁄2 cups)

4 cloves garlic, minced (about 4 teaspoons)

1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and minced

1 medium red bell pepper, seeded and diced (about 1 cup)

One 15.5-ounce can small red or pinto beans, preferably low-sodium, drained and rinsed
11⁄2 cups no-salt-added tomato sauce

2 tablespoons tomato paste

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

1 tablespoon unsulfured molasses

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon dry mustard

3⁄4 teaspoon salt

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

8 whole-wheat burger buns

Brown the meat and onion in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat for 5 minutes, breaking up the meat into crumbles as it cooks. Pour the drippings out of the pan and discard. Add the garlic, jalapeño, and red pepper and cook 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally. Stir in the rest of the ingredients, except the buns, reduce the heat to low, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Place a 1⁄2-cup scoop of the mixture onto each bun and serve.

SERVES 8

Serving size:
1 sandwich

Per Serving:

Calories: 265;
Total fat: 4.5g
            Mono: 1.5g,
            Poly: 1.2g;
            Sat: 1.1g,
Protein: 20g;
Carb: 40g;
Fiber: 8g;
Chol: 30mg;
Sodium: 535mg

Excellent source of fiber, manganese, molybdenum, niacin, protein, selenium, vitamin B12, vitamin C, zinc

Good source of copper, folate, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, thiamin, vitamin A, vitamin B6

New Food Traditions

Ellie Krieger — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:59:00 EST

One of the best things about food is the emotional connection it brings us and its power to link generations. The holiday season is filled with so many of these meaningful food traditions. I have the most wonderful memories of my grandmother's holiday butter cookies. Her spirit is in every batch I now make. And my father half jokingly reminds me each year that the most valuable thing I will inherit is our family's latke recipe. As I start to introduce my six year old to these beloved traditions to connect her to her past, I am also starting some new, healthier food traditions with her to set on the right foot for the future. A couple of years ago when she was old enough to help in the kitchen we started making these scrumptious, moist and healthy pumpkin muffins together. We pack them in boxes of 4, tie them with ribbons and deliver them to friends and neighbors we want to recognize during the holidays. It is a new tradition I hope she will pass down to her children.

Pumpkin Pie Muffins
Cooking spray
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole-grain pastry flour or whole-wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
3 tablespoons unsulfured molasses
1/4 cup canola oil
2 large eggs
1 cup canned solid-pack pumpkin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup lowfat buttermilk
1/4 cup unsalted raw pumpkin seeds

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Coat a 12-cup muffin pan with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, whisk together both flours, the baking soda, salt, and spices. In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, molasses, oil, and one of the eggs until combined. Add the other egg and whisk well. Whisk in the pumpkin and vanilla. Stir in the flour mixture in two batches, alternating with the buttermilk, just until combined. Pour the batter into the prepared muffin pan, filling each about two-thirds full, and sprinkle the tops with the pumpkin seeds. Tap the pan on the counter a few times to remove any air bubbles. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of one of the muffins comes out clean, about 20 minutes.Let cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Run a knife around the muffins to loosen them and unmold. Enjoy warm or let cool completely before storing in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months.

SERVES 12
Serving size: 1 muffin

Per Serving Calories: 205;
Total fat: 7g
Mono: 3.5g,
Poly: 2 g;
Sat: 1g,
Protein: 5g;
Carb: 32g;
Fiber: 2g;
Chol: 36mg;
Sodium: 233mg

Excellent source of thiamin, vitamin A
Good source of manganese, protein, vitamin K

Best Chocolate Holiday Tip Ever

George Duran — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:55:00 EST

Though I grew up in the temperate climate of Caracas, Venezuela--I now consider myself a full-fledged naturalized New Yorker. I love living in the city, but there are times when I miss home... like winter! Because once the cold weather hits, I have to put my beloved grill in dry-dock until the spring thaw. And though that means I won’t be enjoying any of my famous char grilled kebabs for a while... it doesn’t mean I have to eschew the skewer entirely. What’s my secret? My dessert kebabs, of course!

(Photo Courtesy of George Duran)

All I do is take cubes of frozen pound cake, strawberries, and bananas and slide them on a skewer. And if you thought that was easy, here’s the easier part: bring a cup of half and half to a simmer and place a cup of chocolate chips inside the milk. Turn off the heat and mix. Then, just serve this chocolaty concoction in a coffee cup with the sweet kebab on the side! It’s almost enough to make you wish it was always winter. Almost enough. But the good thing is, these treats taste amazing any time of year!

My Comfort Food Tradition

George Duran — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:33:00 EST

Anyone who knows me knows I have a major league sweet tooth. And nothing satisfies that tooth like my giant marshmallow krispie treats. This time of year, however, I like to infuse my favorites with a little something extra: coffee! Because during the hectic holiday season, friends who drop by might not have time to stay for coffee--but they can certainly grab one of my krispie treats for the road.

(Photo courtesy of George Duran)

It's sweet-tooth satisfaction with some instant energy... at no extra charge! And this year, I'm even going to make a few "reduced guilt" batches with Grape Nuts cereal added to give each treat some much needed fiber (plus a little unexpected crunch!).

Comfort for Your Recession Depression

George Duran — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:34:00 EST

With the economy pounding America with a major league reality check, I'm betting that many of you, like me, are gravitating to the loving embrace of comfort foods. So these days, for every dollar that I lose in the stock market, I make up for it at the supermarket--stocking up on everything I need to make some quality high- calorie cuisine!

Just last night I decided to have a few of my fellow financially flustered friends over for a recession special feast: Tuna Casserole! I mean, what better way to make reality go away for a couple hours than a classic that just about everyone's mom used to make?

Cheer up with a tuna casserole just like mom used to make. (Photo courtesy of George Duran)

All I did to update was substitute bow tie pasta (feel free to use your favorite shape) and utilize fresh herbs from my oh-so-economical window box. Those familiar flavors helped all of us escape for just a little while. And isn't that worth every last extra calorie?

The Cornbread Leftover Party

George Duran — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:17:00 EST

A couple years ago, I was invited to a potluck Christmas party at a friend's house. My responsibility? Starches. "Perfect," I thought. "I love starches!" But with the busy shooting schedule for "Ham on the Street" taking much of my energy, I wasn't able to put a lot more thought into it... and suddenly found myself the day of the party wondering: "What am I going to make?!"

Cornbread muffin stuffin' is as easy as pie to make. (Photo Courtesy of George Duran)

Fortunately, I didn't have to wonder long. Because sitting on my kitchen table were a dozen corn muffins I'd made for a segment of the show. And when you've got corn muffins, you pretty much have got to make my easy-as-pie Cornbread Muffin Stuffin'! All you have to do is crumble the muffins, mix them with the other ingredients (hint: spicy Italian sausage works great with sweet cornbread) and pop it straight in the oven. It's a little twist on the classic bread stuffing, and a flavorful complement to any holiday turkey.

A Delicious Way to Impress Holiday Guests

George Duran — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:48:00 EST

You know, I’ve always considered myself an open-minded, accepting, “live and let live” kinda guy. But there’s one type of person I’ve never quite understood: the person who doesn’t get pumped up for the holidays. Me? The instant I hear the first ding-a-ling of “Jingle Bells” on the radio, I commence serious salivating. Because this time of year is all about flexing my creative muscles to turn the ordinary dish... into something extraordinary.

This year, I’m all about the cheese. Camembert, to be exact. This soft French fromage is delicious all on its own. But when you’re looking to impress the guests at your Holiday soiree, it helps to put out more than just a hunk of cheese on a plate. That’s where my recipe for Candied Camembert comes in. It’ll look and taste like you’ve been taking night classes at The Cordon Bleu, but the amazing thing about this recipe is how simple it is.

This savory dish is super easy to prepare. (Photo courtesy George Duran)

Just boil a cup of sugar with a couple tablespoons of water. After 6-8 minutes on the boil, it will begin turning amber in color and that’s when you just pour this sweet caramel onto a piece of camembert (brie works just as well). The heat enters the cheese and melts it, while the caramel hardens into a candilicious shell. Now you and your guests can celebrate the season in sweetly savory style!

Love Me, Love My Home

Lauri Ward — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:32:00 EST

Many of my clients tell me they are embarrassed by the way their homes look, when I meet them for the first time. As a result, most of these people don't entertain their friends or family because they don't feel comfortable in their houses or apartments. It usually means their places do not accurately reflect who they are.

The good news is that by the time I leave, and after their rooms have been rearranged, many of these people have an immediate change of heart. As they walk me to the door, quite a few will say, "We can't believe this is our house! We're going to call a couple of our friends and invite them over here for a glass of wine."

If you feel your home does not reflect who you are, and that it is preventing you from inviting people in during the holidays, here are a few things you can do to make your space look better and more up-to-date, without buying new things:

1) If you are over 25, remove all posters and inexpensive artwork from your walls. Anything that might look good in a dorm room is, of course, an automatic "no-no." Keep only your best pieces: oil paintings, framed watercolors and pen and ink drawings.

2) Put away your stuffed animals and doll collection. Yes, that means you! If your living room resembles your childhood bedroom, in any way, you know it's time to store a few things away in the attic. Display only your most sophisticated pieces.

3) Make your bed, beautifully, using fresh linen with taut sheets, upright pillows, and a fluffed up duvet that is folded back at the top (as pictured below).

4) Unless you have a Victorian or country-style home, limit the use of stenciled or wallpaper decorative borders to bedrooms or children's rooms. If possible, just paint your living room, dining room and entrance walls, from top to bottom.

5) Get rid of all unnecessary bric-a-brac throughout your home including fridge magnets. Fridge magnets make every kitchen look messy! And take down any knick-knacks from your windowsills. The "less is more" rule applies here.

6) Polish your furniture, put out fresh flowers, light a candle, play CDs with soft music and invite some friends to drop by. They'll be very happy to spend time with you - at your place - especially during the holidays.

Joy To The Home

Lauri Ward — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:34:00 EST

Whether you are preparing your home for entertaining guests this holiday season or just want to make your rooms more comfortable for quiet evenings with your family, here are a few things you can do to make your place look and feel better, quickly.

1) Check to see that every room has one blank wall that is free of art. Too much artwork can make a space feel visually chaotic. Having an art-free wall provides a resting place for your eyes that is especially welcome during the holidays.

2) Photos that are framed in a variety of woods and assorted metals can be distracting and can take the focus off of the people in the pictures. Therefore, if you have framed family photos, arrange them together and be sure their finish unifies them all. Using a single material, such as all brass or all pewter, allows the actual photos to remain the primary attraction; plus, they will not compete with your holiday decorations.

3) Be sure that your furniture is not blocking any traffic patterns that run through your rooms. A sofa, chair or table that juts into a pathway can be dangerous and cause bumps and bruises. Remove any pieces that are in the way or unnecessary or simply tuck them out of sight, especially in the room where your Christmas tree is displayed.

4) Clear the countertops in your kitchen. Put away all small appliances that are not used on a daily basis. At this time of the year, especially, you need to free up every inch of space for prep work and holiday cooking.

5) Remember to keep guest towels in your powder room throughout the holiday season. Simple cloth or plain white recycled paper guest towels are better options than those that are dyed.

Creating a peaceful, beautiful and comfortable home for the holidays can also bring you lasting joy, all year round.

Modern Is The New Old-Fashioned

Lauri Ward — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:51:00 EST

There seems to be two approaches to holiday decorating these days: creating old-fashioned, multi-color displays or exhibiting modern, monochromatic arrangements. Either can be beautiful; it's just a matter of personal preference.

For most people, seeing an old-fashioned Christmas display with lots of colorful ornaments and glass balls, multi-hued lights, garlands, tinsel, angel's hair, a nativity scene, plus a star, angel or dove on the top of a tree, brings back fond memories of childhood.

Those who, instead, favor modern holiday decorating tend to use simple ornamentation with only one or two colors to create a streamlined effect. This "less is more" style is, in many cases, considered to be the "green" means of holiday decorating. It can also be a money-saver. If you are interested in this alternative, here are a few things you might consider:

1) Getting LED holiday lights which use 90% less energy than conventional lights; they last a lot longer and are safer, too, because they are cool to the touch and reduce the risk of fire. (Note: Remember to turn off all of your lights when you go to bed and whenever you leave home.)

2) Decorating with edible treats like popcorn and cranberry garlands, ginger bread cookies and chocolate. The garlands can be put out in the garden after the holidays are over, for the birds to enjoy, and guess who gets to eat the gingerbread and chocolate?

3) Filling a bowl with pinecones that are collected from those on the ground (and not those still hanging on the trees) and tying the bowl with a raffia or ribbon bow. If you prefer a punch of natural color, fill one or more bowls with one fruit i.e. all green limes, all green Granny Smith Apples, all red pomegranates, all red apples.

Clipart.com

4) Gathering a few downed branches and displaying them in a tall glass vase with one type of ornament or a number of bows, strategically placed, on a few limbs.

5) Opting for a quietly refined effect by using all white, all gold or all silver accents. These timeless colors can be reused, year after year, to enhance your rooms, and they won't compete with your existing color scheme, fabrics or furnishings.

6) Getting a real tree that can be recycled and composted when the holidays are over instead of an imitation that will ultimately wind up as landfill. Besides, would it really seem like Christmas without the wonderful scent of evergreen wafting through your home?

Comstock Complete

Ironically, keeping things simple and maintaining a conscious, green mindset may be the ultimate old-fashioned approach to holiday decorating, of all.

Tie (or Tape) One On Holiday Decorations

Lauri Ward — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:04:00 EST

My firm, Use What You Have Interiors, is keen on redesigning with the things our clients already own, even when it comes to holiday decorating. One of the benefits of this approach, aside from saving money, is that it makes everyone take stock of how they can recycle their things in new and different ways.

If you, too, are trying to be more budget-conscious this year, take a look around your house or apartment to see what you may already have to create a warm and inviting holiday environment. Here are a few suggestions:

1) Make use of the Christmas cards you received last year: Cut out the pictures on the front of the cards and create new ornaments for your tree. Using a hole- puncher, add an opening at the top of each cutout and then run some matching ribbon through each hole. Tie the new decorations to the tree by making pretty bows, for a cohesive, colorful effect.

Turn your Christmas cards into holiday decorations!

2) Tape the Christmas cards you receive this year to your front door. You can shape the group in a circle, like a wreath; to save buying a real one (the size of the "card wreath" will be determined by the number of cards you receive) or you can simply cover your entire door, from top to bottom, with your 2008 cards. Your guests will have fun reading them all while they wait for you to answer the door!

3) Here's one of my personal favorites: Instead of using conventional ornaments on your tree, hang up photos of beloved friends and relatives who are no longer around (string wire or ribbon through the tops, to attach each photo to the tree). This will help you keep all of your special loved ones a bit closer during holidays, whether they live far away or have passed on.

By using your imagination and decorating with the things you already have on hand, you can get a lot of value and add charming touches to your home during holidays.

Mark & Maria - Our Shopping Wrapping Up

Delia Passi — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:41:00 EST

The differing attitudes of men and women with regard to shopping are certainly real. They may not be as dramatic, or humorous, as we've painted them in our dialogues between Mark and his wife, Maria. Not all women are fond of shopping and do not see themselves in Maria. Nor are all men as foreign to shopping as we made Mark out to be. As generalities go, women generally take a much different approach to shopping than men.

Could men learn to enjoy shopping? Well, of course they could. Some could. Okay, maybe not a lot of them. Let's face the facts. This shopping thing is a fundamental difference between men and women. Men can certainly do it. Women are just more willing and for most they love it. It's not unlike auto repair, another of the great mysteries of the gender universe.

Women and men approach all kinds of purchasing decisions differently from the other, from gift shopping to buying cars and home improvements. From the interaction with the sales associate to the interaction with the brand to the interaction with the physical surroundings, a woman has a different perspective on the whole experience.

One of the things that too many retailers, and e-tailers, need to appreciate is that when their customer is a woman, they need to make adjustments to their communications to give her the experience she finds most comfortable. She spends the money. What will make a man comfortable and satisfied in his face to face dealings with a seller are very different from what works to make a woman comfortable in the same circumstances. Mark is most pleased when he can walk up, point to an item, then carry it out in a bag. For Maria the process is far different. She might find exactly what she wants in one store yet continue to see what she could find in other stores, just in case.

When Mark enters the store, the experience he is expecting will be significantly different from what Maria is expecting, and it's not just because she is more familiar with shopping. She will respond to a different communication style, one that will make her more inclined to stay through to complete her purchase. Mark will buy as long as he's going to quickly get what he came for, and as long as the lines aren't long at the checkout counter.

When you want to know that a retailer wants to deliver the very best in sales and service to both women and men you can seek out the WomenCertified® seal that shows that the sales and service people know how to give women the very best experience. And when you meet the needs of women, you exceed the needs of men. Happy shopping!

Good Tidyings

Lauri Ward — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:09:00 EST

Have you ever noticed how many houses and apartments appear cluttered whenever holiday decorations are put on display? Instead of providing the uplifting ambience that enhances each room with the spirit of the season, lots of homes seem to look visually chaotic when Christmas accents are added.

If your home gives the impression of being as stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey whenever you put up your holiday ornaments, here are two simple things you can do to make your place look more peaceful, instantly.

Just say no to clutter – especially during the holiday season.

First, clear the decks and the halls: Remove all of the regular decorative accessories that you exhibit year-round in the entrance, living room, dining room, den and family room. This goes for your mantel and any open shelves that you plan on trimming, too. By taking the time to do this, not only will you free up and ready your horizontal surfaces for your holiday displays, you will also have the opportunity to dust and polish the furniture beforehand.

Holiday time – a time to throw out those newspapers!

Second, look down. Do you have miscellaneous bits and pieces on the floor? If so, it's time to remove anything that is not furniture. That's right, those newspapers and magazines and "piles" of odds and ends that are scattered about need to be eliminated in order to make your rooms seem more spacious as well as to make way for your Christmas tree.

Taking these simple but important steps will help ensure that your home will feel tranquil and look elegant during the holiday season.

Mark Survives the Mall

Delia Passi — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:05:00 EST

There are two ways to look upon Mark's foray into the mall during the holiday shopping season. From the woman's point of view, it's no big deal - been there, done that, picked up a pair of shoes while I was at it. From the man's perspective, it's no small deal - after all he's been to the cathedral of consumerism, the center of the shopping universe, the gates of ... no, really, it's just a bunch of stores surrounded by parking lots. How bad could that be when you're biologically programmed to hunt?

"Hey, sweetie. Welcome home. Want a piece of pizza?"

"Gee, Mark, you seem awfully chipper for a guy who has been to the mall. How'd you do?"

"I got it done. I bagged a bunch of gifts, ticked off all the items on my list, and found my way home. Sometimes it wasn't as easy as sitting at the computer, but I'm celebrating my successes with a brew and a slice of heaven. Join me, and I will enthrall you with tales of courage and triumph."

"How many beers have you had?"

"Just the one. Maybe I'm just a little giddy from having done so well."

"Well, then, I am ready to be enthralled."

"After I got through my morning basics, sports page, shower and breakfast, I got prepared for my trip by putting on comfortable clothes and sneakers so I wouldn't be swearing at myself for lacking foresight. I didn't regret it, but I noticed that a lot of women seem to take a different approach. I haven't seen that much dressing up since my senior prom. Make up, fancy clothes and high heels are all pretty common. What's with that?"

"I'm not an authority, and certainly I'm not like that myself, but I think it's part of the psychology of being in a place that is so tied to our self images. Everybody seems to project a bit more of who they are when they go to the mall. It would probably make a good topic for an anthropology thesis."

"What was I projecting then?"

"You're a guy. It's not the same. Get back to your story."

"Okay, so I didn't get the perfect parking place but it wasn't too bad. I used the parking garage and drove to an upper level where there are more spaces near the elevator. In effect, I was pretty close to the door."

"When I got inside the mall, I checked the directory to see where some of the stores I wanted to visit were. Of course they were at opposite ends of the place. Do you suppose they do that on purpose?"

"Everything about the mall is on purpose, darling. Haven't you ever heard of retail science? How far you have to walk is not their biggest concern. Why do you think the pharmacy is at the back of the drugstore? They want to tempt you along the way."

"I see. They certainly got me a lot of exercise today. My first stop was at the record store where I picked up a few DVDs for Stef. I could have looked at those for hours, but grabbed a bunch of familiar oldies and chalked up an early score. Then I decided to take a stab at finding those camisoles and your mother's sweater at the Macy's on that end of the mall. I was hoping it would be easy but I think you forgot to tell me a few things about your order."

"Such as?"

"Such as when you say you want a medium long sleeve cashmere sweater with a scoop neckline in pastel teal, that this item might be just a tad bit rare, like a California Condor. Sure, they're out there, but you have to know where to look. I looked in Macy's. I looked in Nordstrom's. I looked in Dillard's. I looked in what seemed like thirty smaller stores in between. I bounced back and forth around the mall like a ping pong ball."

"But you found it?"

"Yeah. And you'll never guess where."

"Sports Authority?"

"No. Victoria's Secret. I must have passed that store a dozen times, gawking at the pictures like a fool. That is, until one time I decided I needed to see what kind of camisoles they had, just in case I wanted to return the ones I got in Macy's. It was a piece of cake buying those camisoles, actually. A lady walked up to me and said can I help you? I pointed to a white one and a black one, and said I want those in a medium. Done deal."

"Anyway, dear Maria, what you hadn't told me was that pastel teal isn't exactly a winter color for long sleeve cashmere sweaters this year."

"I had no idea."

"Wipe that smirk off your face, dear. If I had just made a beeline to the Vickie's Secret in the first place I could have saved myself about two hours and a couple miles of walking. There was a mannequin in the window watching me walk by all afternoon wearing a pastel teal long sleeve cashmere sweater, and a smirk not unlike yours. They had unadorned camisoles to boot."

"If it was that easy, I could have done it myself on a lunch hour, darling. So how much time did you spend at the mall?"

"Let's see. I got there at 10 and left at 5, so that's seven hours."

"Seven hours? How did you manage to spend seven hours getting that handful of items, even with spending two hours too long looking for the sweater? Throw in a half hour in the food court and allow another hour for the rest of your shopping, and you're still way short of seven hours."

"I hate to admit it, but I started to enjoy myself. What with all the decorations, the music, Santa Claus, and everyone trying so hard to help you find what you're looking for, it's not too hard to get the spirit yourself. It even seemed that the more cheerful I was, the more cheerful the people I came in contact with were.

I got to looking around more than I would in my usual quick trips to the mall, and I found myself browsing in stores that didn't have anything I had been looking for. My backbone got a thorough work over from a vibrating chair in the Brookstone store. I even picked up a few other gifts, not the least of which was a couple for my favorite girl."

"Oh, honey, that's so nice. I can't wait to open them. It will mean so much to me that you were actually shopping when you bought them. Maybe now you will be willing to come to the mall with me more often."

"Uh, no."

Maria Prepares Mark for the Mall

Delia Passi — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:59:00 EST

Mark has gotten through some online shopping, successfully ordering a variety of gifts, but there are some things that are just better bought in person.

"So, Mark, is today the day you go to the mall?"

"I think so, Honey. Not much business for me to do, so why not go for the big game? I've got a few things on my list and I'm pretty much gonna do a quick hit and run, a shopping seek and destroy mission. I'll be in and out in a jiffy and safely back on the couch by lunchtime."

"You think so? Well, I'd like you to get a few things that I've got in mind as well, and they won't be hit and run stuff. It's going to take some womanly shopping skills. I want you to get something for my mother and sister."

"Not fair. I was figuring I could park near my objective, dart in, buy exactly what I intended and slip away quickly - the perfect manly buying trip."

"I always like a good parking spot myself but, it being the holidays, you're not likely to find parking anywhere near the door. During the holidays, you'll be lucky if you can see the door from where you park."

"Pessimist."

"I want you to find a sweater for my mother and a couple of camisoles for my sister."

"What, may I ask, dear sweet love of mine, is a camisole? Sounds like an exotic pet."

"It's a silky top that you wear under a sheer blouse, kind of like the top of a negligee."

"You want me to buy underwear for your sister? You're not serious."

"Yes, actually I am. Every department store has them. Get a black one and a white one. Don't pay more than $15 each. You could also find them in the Victoria's Secret store. Maybe you'd like that. They have real big pictures of pretty women in underwear."

"Honey, it's one thing to ogle a big picture in the store window and another thing entirely to go in and handle the stuff. Very unmanly. I could have my machismo license revoked."

"Wimp. Then ask someone to help you. Let them handle it. Get Jackie a medium. And nothing with a lot of adornments, just something simple."

"What about the sweater? Adornments, no adornments, color, size, what?"

"I want to get her something in cashmere with a scoop neck collar, not a v-neck. With long sleeves. It should be teal, a pastel teal, if you can find it. Baby blue, if you can't. Size large. Mom's put on some weight. Don't pay more than $75."

"Oh, boy! Could you write all that down? I'm getting heart palpitations."

"Oh, Mark. It's nothing. You just might have to go to a couple of stores. Try the department stores on either end of the mall. Get some exercise. You need it. So, what else are you getting?"

"I thought I'd get a couple DVDs for Stefanie to add to her collection. Got any suggestions?"

"Go to the record store. They have the best selections. Please don't get her any manly action movies. Don't buy anything that has guns, cars or fireballs on the cover. Stick to chick flicks. I don't think she has many older movies, from our era, and you could get her some recent releases too. What else? What are you getting your brother Marty?"

"He's getting a football jersey. We have to preserve tradition. I'm going to look for a Brett Favre New York Jets jersey - the perfect gag gift for a Packers fan."

"That's nice, darling. Look, I've got to get to work and close a few deals so maybe I can help you sometime. Good luck."

More Tips:

Charity groups often set up gift wrapping stations in malls. This is a great way to support a cause while saving yourself lots of time and hassle of last minute wrapping marathons!
The best time to shop is when most people would not be out shopping. Monday and Tuesday mornings tend to be much quieter, as many are at school or at work. Sunday mornings tend to be quieter than Saturday mornings, meaning fewer people to contend with in lines and fewer baskets blocking the aisles.
Know the retailer's return policy before you buy. Know whether a sale is final or if you can obtain a refund, exchange unwanted merchandise, or receive store credit for a future purchase.
Keep all your receipts in a single convenient place, preferably marked with the recipient's name. Ask for a gift receipt, which won't show the price, so you can give it to the recipient if they wish to return or exchange the gift.
When in a hurry chose a store you know for easy navigation. Perfect for those hit and run shoppers.
Looking for a specialty gift where you would appreciate the help from a knowledgeable sales person? Then consider a boutique or specialty store.

Mark and Maria's Holiday Shopping Adventures - Part 4

Delia Passi — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:53:00 EST

When we left Mark and Maria, he had related his tale of triumph in finding a gaming system for son Matt. It was a fairly easy acquisition because he knew exactly what he wanted and therefore was able to quickly locate it from a reputable ecommerce site and complete the transaction.

"So, Mark, let's hear about your other buy."

"Well, by the time I finished with buying the game, it was getting close to noon, and..."

"Do you mean to tell me that it took you all morning to buy that thing? I thought it was easy."

"It was easy, honeybunch. But I had to do my research first. You know - the morning shows, the product and website reviews and so on."

"Not to mention reading the sports section. Unless you want to make a career out of this shopping thing you're gonna have to be more productive. And more dedicated. We women are natural multi-taskers. If you want to watch Sportscenter, then do it while you read a product review. Listen to the morning shows while you load the dishwasher."

"Yes, boss. So do you want to hear the rest or not?"

"I am breathless with anticipation."

"Okay, so I made a sandwich, played a couple games of solitaire, single-tasking like a manly pro for a little while, getting psyched up to move on to my next purchase."

"My hero. You are a brave one. Did you wear your helmet too?"

"Funny lady. No, I went in without even taping up. Here's how it went.

"Of course, I started with a simple search for University of Miami golf shirt. Actually, I started by searching for Miami University golf shirt, which turned out to be a mistake. I was getting some pretty good looking shirts, stuff I liked, until I discovered that Miami University is a school in Ohio, unlike the University of Miami which is the one in Florida. I wondered how many unsuspecting high school seniors get pumped about going to MU before they realize that UM is the one in Florida. Hopefully not many, or they probably aren't smart enough for college, eh?"

"How does that account for your confusion, Mark dear?"

"Uh, we're getting off track, aren't we? Let's just say that search engines are kind of fussy about what you put in. Garbage in, garbage out, they say. You get what you ask for."

"Anyway, once I got focused on UM shirts I wasn't too keen on the selections they had. Polo style shirts come mostly in orange and green, the school colors, and I thought orange was a bit loud for your Dad and remembered that he doesn't like green so I kept looking for other color choices with just the school emblem in orange and green."

"Mark, my father has no problem wearing green. He has other green shirts."

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that. Maybe he has too many green shirts now. I was seeking to add some other colors to his look, like maroons, tans and blues. I kind of had my heart set on finding a tan shirt for him. Eventually I did. The next challenge was that there was a pretty wide variation in price which I interpreted to mean a variation in quality. So now I get into studying the descriptions and not just the colors and prices. And the clock just keeps on ticking. All of this just takes so much time."

"Why do you think I spend so much time on the computer in the evenings, Mark? I'm not always looking for husband improvement programs, ya know."

"Well, I find it pretty tedious. I decided that I wanted to get him a shirt like Tiger Woods wears. Those look pretty nice. So I search on Tiger Woods golf shirts and end up on a Nike site where I see that every shirt is called Dri-Fit, whatever that is. I'd seen it in some of the descriptions for the UM shirts I'd seen so I figure if it's good enough for Tiger, it's good enough for me, or Dad actually."

"So back I go to look for the right UM shirt. Some sites do not make it terribly easy to find things. One got me so frustrated I thought it should be called sharpstickinthe eye.com. Finally I find a tan Dri-Fit UM shirt for a reasonable price, including free shipping. It's got horizontal stripes, which personally I don't care for, but I think your Dad is okay with, so I go to order it."

"Now I'm prepared for the interrogation like when I bought the game console earlier but no, this site doesn't want to know me all that well but they do want to let me know that there are about 32 other things that I might like to also buy just because some other bozo that bought a blue horizontal striped Dri-Fit UM golf shirt also bought. It's like those TV offers where they try to get you to buy everything else under the sun before you can get through the order for the one $19.95 gizmo you came for. I was going a little nuts wading through it all, but resisted everything they offered."

"Sometimes, Mark, there is a shortcut link to the checkout somewhere on the first page of that stuff that you can take to avoid the hassle."

"Yeah? I'll be looking for that next time. Can you imagine if every store had a half dozen people interfering with you in the checkout line, trying to get you to buy just one more thing? Imagine going through the express line in the grocery store and someone walks up and says ‘I see you bought a quart of milk. Other people who bought a quart of milk also bought a box of Cheerios or a package of Oreos. Would you like to buy one of those?' I'd clock ‘em."

"No, you wouldn't. You're a teddy bear."

"Well, probably not the first time it happened, but maybe the third."

"So was that when you shouted at the printer?"

"Yeah, thereabouts. Do you think the cat will forgive me?"

"The cat's already forgotten the whole thing. He'll love you again when it's time to eat."

"That's the way I feel about you sometimes too."

"I know, honey. That's why I poison your food. So what did you do with the rest of your day?"

"Research. I've been looking for ideas about what to get for everyone else but I wanted to get your opinion on some of them."

"Research, eh? Did you get any good ideas from Oprah? What does ESPN have to say about gift ideas?"

"Oprah? Books. ESPN? Football jerseys."

"I think it's time you head to the mall."

"Oh, goodie!"

Mark and Maria's Mission: Holiday Shopping on the Web

Delia Passi — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:39:00 EST

Yesterday, Maria prepped Mark to begin his holiday shopping mission on the web, the world wide web. That world wide thing should pretty much assure that he would find whatever he wanted, provided it was available somewhere on the globe. If you can buy one in a store, you can get it on the web, right? Sometimes. Kinda, sorta, in a way.

"Mark? I'm home."

"Hey, darling. How was work? Getting to that quota yet?"

"We made some progress. How's the shopping coming?"

"I made some progress, too. I'm still learning but I'm still sane. I was talking to myself out loud by the end of the day, but I'm muttering things you would understand. The cat, on the other hand, left me around three when I yelled at the printer."

"Why did you yell at the printer?"

"Because it ran out of ink when I needed to print out my order confirmation."

"So you did buy something. Why don't you take me through your day? Maybe I can give you some advice, other than to check your ink supply."

"Okay. First I made a pot of coffee, ate a bagel and checked the sports section, and the help wanted, in the paper. Then I got comfy in my chair with the laptop so I could attack this shopping thing. I got a couple ideas from watching the morning shows, so I had my goals set for the morning. ‘Course it took me until a half hour ago to score my goals, so you have to give some credit to the defense. They put up a good fight."

"Let me get my pompons, champ. What were your goals?"

"On the TV, they talked about that game Matt said he wanted so badly. It looked pretty fun, so I made a note of the name. It turns out that was about the toughest part for that one. And I got an idea for your Dad. I decided to get him a really nice golf shirt with the University of Miami emblem on it. That's what made me scare the cat."

"Yeah, clothes are always a tough one to get right on the Internet. Tell me about the game."

"Oh, yeah. That was no big deal. I just entered the name of the game into the search engine and that was about it. Heck, it even told me how to spell the name correctly. How was I supposed to know they would spell it with two I's and not two E's? Anyway, I got a little intimidated when it said there were 3 million matches."

"I trust you got it without going to all of them."

"Oh, yeah. First I read a couple of reviews. Not everyone likes that game, you know. Then I found a place on AOL that gives you about a million different sites where you can buy it and what their best price is, even if there is tax or shipping charges. It's amazing how the low price site jumps up the list when shipping charges apply. The top dozen were no more than five dollars apart so I went to a couple with five star ratings and picked the one that appeared to be the most polished."

"And that was it?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. What was it? The interrogation?"

"Yeah, that and the fact that I ended up in another site altogether when I went to close the deal."

"That happens sometimes, but it isn't necessarily a sign that things are screwy. Some sites are just gateways to others. As long as you feel some confidence in the store you ultimately buy from, that they are reputable, you can go ahead."

"Well, once I gave up my life story to buy a simple game, I wasn't going to easily give up. Why do they need to know how much schooling I've had?"

"I think they're profiling you. Did you check the box that says they can't send you their email newsletters?"

"Yeah, I caught that. Did you know that I have a Ph.D.?"

"No. When did you finish it?"

"This morning, I guess. You can call me Doc from now on."

"Sure, Doc. What did you get your degree in?"

"Applied Internet Shopping. Want to hear my adventure in clothes shopping? It makes Internet game buying seem like child's play."

Tips:

Personalshopper.com has a recommendation system that will offer ideas for everyone on your list, but be prepared to fill out an extensive survey on everything from their favorite color to their birthdates. Upfront it's time-consuming but can save you lots of time on the back end.
Sites like Overstock.com and Zappos.com have customer feedback postings which may save Mark the hassle of figuring out if their product description meets the customer experience. Maria's personal favorite is Zappos because of their extraordinary customer service.
Look for sites that carry the WomenCertified® seal of approval. This signifies that the site has passed a higher standard of user experience and customer service. In 2009 WomenCertified make it easy for you by launching the WomenCertified Locater.
Search for local moms' sites, like CincyMoms.com (Cincinnati, OH), which are chock full of referrals and bulleting boards where you can get advice from other moms on everything from doctors to where to find a toy.
When shopping online, have your credit cards and address book handy. Many websites have timed windows to complete a transaction, so you need to have any shipping information at your fingertips.