A Broken Record and OCD Habits
Question:Why do I always have a song stuck in my head? Regardless of what I'm doing, some tune is playing over and over in my mind. Sometimes it takes several days to change the tune, so to speak, and, well, it's driving me nuts!
Besides suggesting you turn off your iPod, the experts we polled had almost nothing to say about this behavior, which leaves us with two possible conclusions: 1) It's a perfectly natural phenomenon and everyone experiences it, or 2) Our experts are all nuts themselves. But since this writer and all his editors at RD also have cranial jukeboxes, we prefer the first conclusion.
Yale psychologist Marianne LaFrance points out that trying to force a song out of your head only makes things worse. "Trying not to think about something makes you think about it," she told us. In fact, it's probably your fruitless efforts to "change the tune," not the songs themselves, that are driving you nuts. So why not run with it? Harvard psychiatrist Jacqueline Olds, who admits to being a radiohead herself, says, "I find that it's such a joy to give over to it. A stuck song is a message from your unconscious. If you love this song, why not sing it?" Or if you don't ("Who Let the Dogs Out," anyone?), think about what that message may be revealing.
Question:
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to resist straightening up piles of magazines in the doctor's office or leveling the picture frames on walls -- even in my friends' houses! And I have one friend who wears a parka with a zipper breast pocket. He never closes that zipper, so I always have to do it for him. He doesn't realize what a favor I'm doing him. Am I nuts?
"Just tell me I have spinach on my teeth; don't put your hand in my mouth!" cries psychologist LaFrance. Stop kidding yourself: You're not doing your friend any favors with the zipper, and, more importantly, you're not assuaging the basic anxiety that gives rise to this classic OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) behavior.
Harvard psychiatrist Olds notes that OCD behaviors are common in our society. "Everybody has a few OCD habits, and you can't really be too success-oriented without them," because the neat cubicle and flawless memo are richly rewarded. But in this case, your compulsive urges impose on other people, probably to the point of offense. You should seek counseling, and the first thing a therapist might ask you to do is to analyze your behavior. OCD patients make lists of rules: Magazines must be straight, zippers must be closed, pictures must be level. "The OCD patient thinks: If I follow these rules, even though they're arbitrary and I made them up, then other things beyond my control will fall into line as well," says LaFrance. "But it doesn't work. It's the proverbial house of cards." Controlling the zippers and the picture frames is not going to give you any more control over your relationships, your health, your work or your life. Anxiety from these sources is what's really bothering you, and the only way to deal with those issues is to face them directly.



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