Are You Normal or Nuts? (page 4 of 4)

Hearing Voices, Tapping and Social Fears

Question:
I talk to myself all the time, and sometimes I even respond aloud to questions I mentally ask myself. Is this a mild form of schizophrenia?

Not so long as you're the only one talking. If you hear voices that seem to come from outside yourself and they tell you to do something stupid, like kill your aunt Margaret, drop this magazine and get to the ER right now. But regular old talking to yourself is a normal human quirk. We rehearse what we'll say to someone we want to impress. We think up wittier replies for that recent conversation in which we failed to impress, and sometimes, like you, we solve problems.

NASA consultant Wood says you're using a "think-aloud protocol." Studies show that students often perform tasks better if they think out loud. Psychologists would once ask test subjects to think aloud so that researchers could figure out how they were solving the problems. But time and again, they found that these subjects did the tasks better than those who remained silent. So long as you don't overdo it in public, keep up the conversation with yourself. It's only helping.

Question:
Why do I love tapping, drumming, and other repetitive rhythmic behavior? Am I borderline autistic? The same is true of my dad, but it drives my mom and my wife crazy. Is this a gender thing?

It's not a gender thing, and just because some autistics engage in repetitive behaviors, that doesn't mean you, too, have autism. The experts we talked to gave you a different diagnosis: anxiety. "The next time you tap, stop for a moment and identify what you might be getting yourself anxious about," counsels Pelusi. Is it your job? Maybe it's your wife. Facing anxiety directly is a better way of dealing with it, because while tapping may be a short-term relief, you're not dealing with the root problem. Himmelsbach adds that you may also have excess energy. "Go with the flow: Take up running, or become a drummer," he urges. Now, that'll make your wife miss your tapping!

Question:
After years of hard work, I'm up for a promotion, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it. But I'm terrified, because that will mean I'll have to run meetings and do more speaking in front of groups of clients. I hate this. I get short of breath sometimes and feel like there's a weight on my chest. My palms sweat. I suspect this is a bigger problem than my deodorant can handle.

Unless your deodorant contains beta blockers, you're right. It's a bigger problem. What you have is a limited form of social anxiety disorder. Many people report "stage-fright" jitters, a general feeling of unease before speaking to groups. Joining a public-speaking organization like Toastmasters is a great idea for most people with stage fright. But Harvard psychiatrist Olds notes that your shortness of breath "is a little unusual," and that you're a good candidate for medicines like beta blockers, which counter the physiological response. It's useful to note that such fears are self-fulfilling. Ask yourself: Are you at the point where you're more afraid of sweaty palms than you are of running the meeting? If you can recognize this as a self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps you can nip it in the bud.



Question:
Sometimes I feel like a cold fish. My son's difficulties at school don't move me, my wife's bad day is unimportant. Then that heart-string-pulling phone company or holiday-time beer ad on TV makes me weep. Am I nuts?

Not at all. Emotions are tough stuff. And all of us, at one point or another, have our cold-fish moments. But you should recognize that you are probably displacing real emotions about something (your family, perhaps?) into the fictional commercial. You cry about that because it's safe, whereas crying about what's really going on is not safe. "An authentic appraisal of your relationship with your wife might cause a disruption in your relationship, causing you to take responsibility, so crying at the TV ad allows you to evoke the emotion in an abstract way and avoid the hassle," says Pelusi. "People have a tendency to distract themselves from the difficult and painful process of having an actual relationship." It works in the short run, but in the long run taking responsibility for your feelings and addressing your emotions, however tough, is the only way to deal with them. Courage, man, you're not crazy. You're human.

From Reader's Digest - April 2006

 

• • Normal or Nuts
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• Healthy Habits
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