Boy Wonder: A Family's Story of Autism

Once we stopped trying to "fix" our autistic son, we started to appreciate the world as he saw it.

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Living With Autism
Stuart Conway
"You come to see how autism is a cloud with its own silver lining."
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Rain Man is a good movie. Have you ever seen that one?

Never a Typical Baby

It was a moment I'd been dreading, and still, it managed to take me by surprise. When Ethan, the oldest of our three sons, was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, at first it sounded almost as though the neurologist, who had a few missing social skills himself, was speaking a foreign language. Then I realized that he was using a clinical term: "Do you mean autism?" I said, staring at the three-year-old boy I'd spent the whole morning prepping for this trip to the doctor's office: making sure he was well-rested, well-fed, boned up on his limited vocabulary -- all to escape this exact, life-ending diagnosis.

"That's it!" the doctor said excitedly. "PDD means he hasn't got every trait of classic autism, but it's still very serious. Basically you'll hope he can one day write a check, hold a simple job, things like this."

It took all my concentration not to cry in front of this man. I asked if there were any books he could recommend.

He thought for a while, as if he'd never heard the question before. Finally he said, "Rain Man is a good movie. Have you ever seen that one?"

Ethan was never a typical baby. He was colicky and allergic, beset from the start by skin rashes and a chronic runny nose. Ethan was also late to the milestones first-time parents anxiously wait for. He smiled at nine weeks, crawled at nine months and walked at 16 months. "The late end of normal," our smiling, bow-tied pediatrician said. But as time passed, the list grew: He had words by two years, but didn't combine them. He didn't point, didn't wave bye-bye, and blinked stupefied at a knot of doting adults clustered around him. Worse still, he seemed happiest playing alone, dribbling sand through his fingers. The more I read, the clearer it was: The Rain Man doctor may have been an oaf, but he wasn't wrong.
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