When a Friend Gets Sick

Law & Order's Mariska Hargitay talks about losing a friend to breast cancer.

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Mariska Hargitay
Jim Wright
Losing a close friend taught Mariska Hargitay a valuable lesson in breast cancer awareness.
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It’s a concrete way for everyone to feel like they’re making a difference
Mariska Hargitay, who plays a tough but beautiful detective on NBC’s Law & Order, recently lost childhood friend Annette Condon Tauber to breast cancer. “It was devastating,” says the actress, 43. “Ann defined so much of who I am. She was my champion and crusader and the most loyal friend.”

Ann was diagnosed in 2003, when she was 38, shortly after the birth of her fourth daughter. Hoping for a miracle and not wanting to burden her friends, she never told them she was sick. “I understand her not wanting to share,” Hargitay says. “And as far as I’m concerned, she did beat the disease. Doctors gave her two years, and she lived two more because she loved those girls and her husband so much.”

By late 2005, the cancer had spread to Ann’s liver in a golf-ball-size mass. She passed away in May 2007.

The most important thing for a woman whose friend is battling the disease, says Hargitay, is just to be there. “Don’t be afraid of what to do and what to say,” she says.

In memory of Ann, Hargitay signed on as the 2007 ambassador for Lee National Denim Day, an Entertainment Industry Foundation program that raises money for breast cancer research. Participating workplaces let employees wear jeans on October 5 for a $5 donation. “It’s a concrete way for everyone to feel like they’re making a difference,” says the Emmy-winning actress.

Hargitay recently had her second mammogram, and she urges women to convince their friends, mothers and sisters to do the same. “Drag them by the hair if you have to,” she says. “Early detection is the answer to treating it and being able to say, Phew, I caught it in time.”
From Reader's Digest - October 2007
 
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