Del.icio.us
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
You Can Do It
7. Make a list. Nothing puts more control back into your hands than taking all the "to dos" swirling through your head and writing them down. Now make a plan for how you will accomplish each one. For instance, if one of the things on your list is Christmas shopping, set a date, a time, and a time limit to go shopping. If one of the things on your list is to clean the house, break it into manageable parts. So on Monday you clean the kitchen, on Tuesday the bathrooms, and so on.8. Build up tolerance to chaos by giving yourself small out-of-control experiences. For instance, if you typically are the lead driver of the family car, have your spouse take the wheel next time you all go out together, suggests Larina Kase, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Center for Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania. Ask someone to interrupt you periodically, have your partner make the weekend plans without your input, turn over the bill paying to your partner. These will help you learn to accept being out of control.
9. Practice positive self-talk. It would be great if someone else did this for you, but often you have to do it for yourself, says Dr. Farrell. Self-talk means saying things like, "I'm going to be okay," "I'll get through this," or "Right now, I have to give myself a few minutes and then I can begin coming up with a plan to handle this."
10. Take time to de-stress before addressing the maelstrom. Put your feet up, do some relaxation breathing, have a cup of tea. Calming yourself down is one area in which you do have control, notes Dr. Farrell.
11. Create a perception that you have control. There is a good deal of research showing that the perception of control is more important than actual control, says Dr. Kase. For instance, people are able to tolerate a hot room if they know they have the option of turning down the heat. Come up with some little things that you can do to make out-of-control situations more manageable.
12. Iron something. Ironing is a relatively mindless activity that still provides very visible results. The sense of control you gain as you turn a crumpled ball of fabric into a crisp garment will carry over into other areas of your life, promise!
13. Focus on what you're doing, not the outcome. You can often control the specific task or motion, but you can't always control the outcome. Just consider baseball slugger Mark McGwire, says Michael Crabtree, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Washington & Jefferson College in Washington, Pennsylvania. "He was just a .200 hitter with the Oakland A's because he was focused on his low batting average and hitting home runs -- not on just swinging the bat. When he started focusing on that, it changed his whole approach and he became a much better hitter," Dr. Crabtree says.
Advertisement 
Your Comments
See all
...