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De Lench was livid that her hometown league couldn't form enough teams to give every child a chance to play. So she offered to coach the team herself. "You won't win a single game," de Lench was told. "A lot of kids had to be dragged to our first practice," she says. "They were so hurt by being cut and didn't want to be seen as the kids who weren't good enough." Inspired, de Lench started momsteam.com, a website devoted to sports and parenting. Shortly after that, de Lench's coaching efforts paid off: The team had an undefeated regular season.But many children find themselves on the sidelines -- and it's not always because of the coach. Parents are often at the core of the problem. Many make a positive difference to youth sports, as de Lench did, but some parents can also hinder their children through overzealousness. "Even in a Little League community of 200 families, if just 10 percent care about winning and nothing else, that can ruin things for all the kids," says Doug Abrams, a law professor at the University of Missouri, who tracks incidents of parental excess in youth sports.
Some parents realize late that they've enrolled their kids in programs that are too intense. Travis Walker, a shortstop from Columbus, Ohio, found that out the hard way. When his dad and some other fathers came up with the idea for a travel baseball team, Travis was eager to play. By his second year, however, Travis was beginning to feel the strain of a 70-game season, frequent practices and out-of-town tournaments. The decision to stop playing on the team his father helped start was a relief for Travis, who confessed that his commitment to baseball had become a burden. "I never have any free time," he told his mother.
Of course, not everyone feels burned out by non-school leagues. In fact, many kids and parents credit competitive leagues with providing excellent athletic instruction, sportsmanship and self-esteem. Stan Kolbe, who coaches the Washington Senators, one of the nation's top-ranked 14-and-under softball teams, agrees: "I don't want to see elite teams get a sore eye. We need to let the more competitive kids have an outlet."
Kolbe's daughter Alie, who throws a softball more than 50 miles per hour, plays on the team. "I love it, especially pitching, which really gives you command over the game," says Alie, who practices five days a week -- eleven months out of the year. "Learning on a top team beats playing more but learning little on a recreational team," says Kolbe. Despite his team's competitive nature, Kolbe makes sure all the girls get to start at least one game every tournament.
But not all coaches have Kolbe's attitude. Sports chat rooms are jammed with coaches looking for players. Some coaches regularly prowl playgrounds and Little League games in the hunt for prospects. Nancy Lazenby Blaser remembers playing catch with her five-year-old daughter, Alexandra, in San Jose, California, when a stranger approached. "Your girl has a great arm," the man said. He introduced himself as the coach of an elite softball team and asked if Alexandra played. "Don't you think it's a little early?" Blaser asked. "If she doesn't start to play soon," the coach predicted, "she probably won't be able to compete in high school." Chuckling, Blaser explained that she is the commissioner of athletics for the Central-Coast Section of the California Interscholastic Federation. The coach backed off.
"It's tough when you see other parents signing up their kids," says Blaser. "You wonder if you are selling your kids short by not doing it." Children are pigeonholed into organized sports at earlier and earlier ages as though they were training for the Olympics, and they have the injuries to prove it. Over-training and the constant repetition of a physical motion -- whether slapping a hockey puck or pitching a baseball -- can impact a child's physical development. When speed and power are encouraged before a child masters proper technique, the effects on bones and soft tissues can be harmful.
"Most parents don't have a clue about the risks involved for young people in sports," says Dr. James Andrews, who founded the American Sports Medicine Institute. "They don't realize that many of the things they have their kids doing -- playing year-round, pitching too often, throwing too hard -- are exactly the kinds of things that induce injuries that will preclude a professional career."
"Besides, winning isn't the top priority for kids. It shouldn't be the yardstick for parents and coaches, either," says Daniel Gould, director of Michigan State University's Institute for the Study of Youth Sports. Parents wouldn't want to keep their kids in a school where their child was being beaten up or verbally abused, but many competitive non-school teams with grueling schedules and must-win philosophies can take a similar toll on a child's body and spirit. "I wanted my sons to be in a cooperative situation without rivalry," says de Lench. With more "Bad News Bears" teams like hers, maybe all kids can get a chance to play, develop their skills at a higher level, learn teamwork, and most of all -- have fun.
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