Normal or Nuts? (page 3 of 3)

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Some compulsions are normal and others may be signs of a deeper problem.

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>Sometimes I try to avoid stepping on cracks or spaces between tiles. It's as if I can feel the cracks through my shoes. Seriously, am I nuts?

Seriously, will stepping on a crack break your mother's back? If you believe it will, then yes, you are nuts and need professional counseling. Otherwise, recognize that we all have rituals we've performed since we were kids. Some people have to brush their teeth in a certain order. Others say "bunny, bunny" at the start of a new month. Most of us knock on wood. "Many of these compulsions are left over from childhood, and they've gotten a little stuck," says Harvard psychiatrist Jacqueline Olds, MD. It's a trivial ritual. Seriously, don't worry about it.

>I have trouble concentrating. If I'm on the phone and someone in the room is talking to me, I block them both out. Driving home, I sometimes space out and can't remember big chunks of the trip. My head's always wandering into la-la land. Is that nuts?

Hard to tell. If it's a problem you've had since childhood, you could have attention deficit disorder. If you've only recently noticed it, you could be experiencing anxiety or depression. All three conditions are treatable with talk therapy and medication, says Harvard's Dr. Beresin. Occasional spaciness is natural. Even the most intense people zone out from time to time. But you should see someone, he advises, to make sure it's not a more serious problem.

>Since childhood, I've never really been happy. No matter how hard my husband tries to help me snap out of it, I always feel sad. I don't have thoughts of suicide, but I'm just not happy with myself, my relationship, my children, my job … anything. Am I going crazy?

Occasional unhappiness is normal. But the unrelenting nature of your situation probably means you have something more severe, says Massachusetts psychologist Levine.

>I haven't had a second date in three years. If a guy doesn't call me within 24 hours of the first date, I get enraged and never want to speak to him again. When he does call, the conversation inevitably goes poorly. My friends say I'm an impatient perfectionist, but I deserve perfection and it's worth waiting for, right?

Uh, no and no. None of us is perfect, so you'll be waiting forever. But that's probably your secret plan: You're afraid of intimacy because you don't think you're worth it, so you sabotage yourself by setting up a rigid rule that gives you an easy out. You don't want a second date. Why not? Yale psychology professor Marianne LaFrance, PhD, suspects "an enormous problem with self-esteem. You're worried you're in fact a bad person" and that if someone actually got close to you, he'd see that.

Of course, you're not really a bad person, says Joseph Himmelsbach, PhD, a professor of psychology at State University of New York Upstate Medical University. And there are lots of worthy men out there, too, he says, but, alas, no perfect ones. "So give the guys a break."

From Reader's Digest - August 2008

• • Normal or Nuts
• • Mind & Body

• Post Your Quirky Questions Here!
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• Normal or Nuts 2006
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• Normal or Nuts 2007
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