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The Big Disconnect
It's that time of year again, when men replay the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show or thumb through the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue while their women sit nearby feeling lousy about their postholiday weight gain. These models have set the new standard for sexiness: large, pert (and often surgically enhanced) breasts, a microscopic waist and perfectly sculpted, cellulite-free hips and thighs.Thanks to pop culture icons, American women think that having a body like five-nine, 119-pound Heidi Klum's is the answer to a sizzling and sexy relationship. When Reader's Digest asked women when they feel sexiest, they said it was when they weighed less than they do now. In fact, 80 percent said that losing weight would improve their sex life (among women who consider themselves obese, it jumps to 95 percent). Men showed insecurities too. A whopping 70 percent think a slimmer waistline would lead to better sex, and 42 percent said they would go shirtless only in front of their partner.
But here's the big disconnect: Despite idealized images, guys really don't expect (or even want) their wives or girlfriends to be supermodel thin. And women aren't looking for Brad Pitt in their beds. Yes, overweight people are having good sex. They know what researchers and scientists are beginning to uncover: A great sexual experience comes mostly from our minds, not from perfectly proportioned bodies.
In fact, striving to look like a lingerie model may be a sexual turnoff. The average body mass index (BMI) of those models is an unhealthy and underweight 17. Women with a BMI of 18.5 are less likely to conceive, and they suffer a drop in hormones that contribute to libido. So that smoldering stork-like model may look phenomenal in the pages of fashion magazines—but may not be a firecracker in bed.
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