5 Tips for Dealing with a Restless Bed Partner

Are your partner's sleep issues keeping you up at night? Here are tips to help you both snooze better!

Sleep loss can kill a relationship. In a study at the University of California at Berkeley, researchers found that sleep deprivation fractures brain mechanisms that tame our emotional responses to stressors. In other words, once provoked by a spouse or significant other after sleep deprivation, there’s no guarantee we will play nice. And that kills sex and considerably lowers the chances of staying together. Here’s how to make sure that doesn’t happen.

 

1. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Be factual, brief, and don’t bring in other issues. Avoid personal criticism. Women who refuse to discuss sleep issues with their partners may be putting themselves at risk for more than insomnia. A Maryland study recently found that women who “self-silenced” during conflicts with their spouses were four times more likely to die over a 10-year period than women who did not.

 

2. EMPHASIZE THAT IT’S “OUR” PROBLEM. That makes it clear that you’re in this for the long haul and you’ve got his back.

 

3. ENCOURAGE HIM TO GET HELP. Suggest he make an appointment with your family doctor to discuss the issue and consider whether or not a referral to a sleep center certified by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine would help.

 

4. USE PROPS. Eye masks, ear plugs, white-noise machines, mattresses with “firmness” controls, feather boas—use whatever it takes to increase the likelihood that you’ll sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning.

 

5. SEPARATE. If the problem is long-term, think twin beds or separate rooms. You can always tiptoe in for a morning cuddle after a good night’s sleep.

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