Lonnie Ali: 10 Ways I Take Care of Myself

Muhammad Ali's wife and caregiver shares how she stays grounded and healthy while caring for her husband who has Parkinson's disease.

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Lonnie Ali
PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS
“Parkinson’s disease bothers us more than it bothers Muhammad,” says Lonnie Ali. “He sometimes forgets he has limitations.”
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Plus: Read Muhammad Ali's story
Lonnie Ali's 10 Best Tips for Caregivers
6 Things Caregivers Wish They'd Known Sooner

No one starts life with the desire to become a caregiver to someone with a chronic illness or disease. The challenges that face most caregivers today are complex. Many caregivers tend to focus on the person that needs care while neglecting their own immediate needs. Personal health is put on the back burner. Hobbies are given up. Careers are put on hold or terminated. Life pursuits become dreams unfulfilled.
The most important thing a caregiver can do for his or her loved one is to take care of themselves. As with most of us who are caregivers, somewhere along the line we figure this out, but often it can be too late.

Over the years I have developed a few techniques and strategies that help me take better care of me. The list I have provided is in no way exhaustive. In fact, I find myself adding and deleting items as my life moves forward and situations change.

1. Wake up with a positive attitude every morning. Generally I am a positive person, but caregiving on a daily basis can eat away at even the best attitudes. I remind myself to focus on the positives in mine and Muhammad’s life—not the negatives. And of course laughter is the best medicine for reinforcing a positive mental attitude—especially if you do it often and out loud.

2. Seek out support. I am in constant search of people I can count on to offer support and assistance when necessary. Caregiving is a mental and physical activity. Having reliable, properly trained people to assist and relieve me is important. This ensures that when I do leave my husband in the care of others, I can relax knowing that he is being taken care of properly.

3. Take time to meditate or pray. Setting aside time each day to center myself spiritually and to thank God for providing me with the strength to care for my husband recharges my mental batteries and reminds me that God is really in charge.

4. Do things you really enjoy. Muhammad and I were married when I was 29 years old. I have been a care partner and giver for more than 20 years. Spending a few hours a week doing things I really enjoy fill me with meaning and purpose. Continuing these personal pursuits goes a long way in making me feel that I am not sacrificing everything in my life for Muhammad.

5. Rest. Perhaps the most important thing I could do for myself is to get adequate rest. Going to bed at a set time each night helps, as well as setting my clock to rise at the same time each morning. If I find that I am tiring out during the day, I take a quick 20 or 30-minute nap. You’d be surprised at how refreshed you will feel after a few minutes of restful sleep.

6. Maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle.
Eating right and exercising is fundamental in order for me to keep up with my lifestyle. I used to eat without thinking and comfort myself with food. At the beginning of this year, however, I decided to take charge of my eating habits and my physical well-being by giving up sweets and fast foods and incorporating Pilates into my weekly schedule. I do what I can and don’t beat myself up for what I can’t get done.

7. Indulge yourself. One thing that I have found that has reduced my stress levels is getting regular massages and having a spa day every once in awhile. Massages and spas are stress reducers and rid the body of toxins. I look at this as preventative medicine.

8. Maintain relationships. Connecting with friends helps relieve stress and allows me to stay in touch with those whom I share similar interests. Catching up and sharing the balancing act of life with others makes you realize you are not alone.

9. Be realistic. You can't be everything for everyone. I would love to imagine myself as superwomen, but I’m not. I have to make choices that are best for me and my family. It’s been a process but I am learning not to sweat the small stuff.

10. Keep your doctor’s appointments. All of them!
From readersdigest.com
 
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