Make it Matter: A Death and a Life

When her son committed suicide, Virginia Cervasio overcame her grief by helping others avoid the same fate.

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Virginia Cervasio started Community Awareness in Recognizing and Educating on Suicide.
Photographed by Brian Smith; Hair and Makeup by Fazia Ali
"I can't let another parent lose a child," says Cervasio.
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Virginia Cervasio never saw it coming. Her son Angelo, 24, rarely drank, never used drugs, and didn't seem depressed. An Air Force veteran, Angelo loved riding his motorcycle and had applied to join the police force near his hometown in southwest Florida.

Then, not long after midnight on January 17, 2006, detectives rang Cervasio's doorbell. Angelo was dead. He had shot himself in an apparent suicide.

For weeks, Cervasio could barely get off the couch. "I wanted to die," she recalls. Tortured by guilt, she berated herself for missing possible warning signs. Finally, she says, "I had to find a way to put my feet on the floor in the morning." Three months after Angelo's death, Cervasio formed C.A.R.E.S. (Community Awareness in Recognizing and Educating on Suicide) and held the first meeting in her Cape Coral home. Two people came: a family friend and a woman whose son had committed suicide.

Cervasio, a secretary, knew nothing about fund-raising or writing grant applications. But she began making the rounds of local service groups, foundations, and corporations, seeking donations. It wasn't easy. Suicide, she discovered, is a topic everyone prefers to avoid.

But Cervasio persisted. Every 16 minutes, she told audiences, someone commits suicide in the United States. There are more suicides than murders. The most gripping story, of course, was her son's.

Cervasio and her board of directors organized an annual high school variety show and a five-kilometer walk. Before long, the donations-and volunteers-started to roll in.

Within two years, Cervasio had raised $25,000 for her nonprofit (leecountycares.org). Today C.A.R.E.S. operates a suicide-prevention resource center in Cape Coral staffed by volunteers, with two licensed therapists on call. The center offers counseling, referrals, and support groups for teens and adults. Cervasio has also talked to more than 2,500 students about warning signs and places to find help.

After Lauren Reuter, 15, lost her mother to suicide, she was so filled with rage that she refused to talk about her mom's death. She joined a C.A.R.E.S. therapy group for teens and found other kids who had been through similar experiences and understood how she felt. "Lauren was finally able to remember the good times with her mom," says her father, Peter.

Although Angelo Cervasio left a goodbye note, he didn't explain why he took his life. Only later did Virginia, husband Alex, and their sons Frank and Joe realize he was frustrated with his job as a security guard and with his search for a new one. "The question of why stays with you a long time," Cervasio says. "I had to learn I couldn't ask that question anymore, because I'd never know the answer."

In the end, Angelo's death has also had a positive impact on Cervasio, now 50. "I am going to college for the first time in my life, to become a victim advocate," she says. "My son changed my path."

Learn about suicide warning signs.

Are You Making It Matter?

Inspired by Virginia Cervasio's story, the Reader's Digest Foundation awarded a $100,000 grant to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a not-for-profit organization that seeks to prevent suicide through research, education, and legislation. Submit your Make It Matter story today.

 


From Reader's Digest - November 2008
 
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What a wonderful way to share and support others. Many things we never will understand on this earth, but you are turning darkness into light. We must all everyday refuse to let misery win out over joy. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.

By weezy8150, on 10/20/2008

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