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Rock Solid Routines
Davidson: You've said that being a hands-on mother is really important. How do you manage that, particularly now being a single mom?Ryan: Really the structure of Jack's life hasn't changed very much. Before he was five he was always with me. But for the most part, since Jack started school, he would either be with Dennis or with me. And the same is happening now. Dennis is working, and I have Jack. When I work, Dennis'll have him.
Davidson: Is being a single mom difficult for you?
Ryan: Sometimes it's just an overwhelming amount of work. Just slotting things into your day and getting to school in time to pick him up and getting all that done. Women have this ability to multitask, and I think because we are capable of it, we abuse ourselves with it, you know? I think men are much more myopic and much more directional. We have a capacity like that, and I feel that mine was overused at times.
Davidson: Give me an example.
Ryan: Well, I have to figure out a way I'm gonna be able to go to Moms 'n' Muffins and still make it to New York at a particular time to have a meeting on another movie. When I go to New York I have to go for all of about ten hours and then come right back because I'm in charge of Jack at the moment and I don't want him to be by himself.
Davidson: What's Moms 'n' Muffins?
Ryan: Moms 'n' Muffins is where all the moms bring muffins, and we hang out with our kids on a particular day and do mom things with them at school.
Davidson: Could you tell me a little about him?
Ryan: He's a real performer. He must get it from Dennis because I'm not really a natural performer. He will get up onstage in those school productions and just sing out, man. He's remarkable. He's beautiful. He can play the blues -- on piano -- like nobody's business. He's really, really funny. And you know, he's kind. Dennis and I are always amazed. He's gotta say "thank you" to people. He doesn't ignore anybody. You catch him mediating between his friends. [Dennis and I] call each other and say, "Oh, my God, you know what he said?" And, "You know what he did?" "Where'd he get that?"
Davidson: Most kids love the comfort of their everyday rituals. Do you have a routine with him?
Ryan: It's so rock solid, from when he gets home from school to when he goes to bed. He gets his homework, whatever he's got to do, done. And he somehow manages to get his butt in front of the TV. At 7:30 he watches Rugrats, and if he's lucky he stays up to watch SpongeBob Squarepants. He's got the remote, his chopped-up apples and he's ready. He's a real routine guy. I'm often staggered by that because I'm not at all. Neither is Dennis.
Davidson: Do you and Jack eat dinner together?
Ryan: Last night we had chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese and broccoli.
Davidson: Do you read to him?
Ryan: Yeah, we read. He's reading to me now, which is great.
Davidson: I understand you're a heavy reader. What are you reading right now that you like?
Ryan: I'm reading all these boxing books -- On the Ropes and Ali, Norman Mailer and Joyce Carol Oates on boxing. But generally I really like this author Philip Roth. I just started reading When She Was Good. I just read The Human Stain and loved that and had to read more.
Davidson: How do you feel about turning 40?
Ryan: I have really mixed feelings. Like I said, I really like the way my life is. I think if it wasn't in the kind of shape it's in now it might be a traumatizing birthday. But you become very aware of Hollywood's limits for you.
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