Reader Digest Version Global

The New Rules for Tipping

Get insider advice on how much you should really leave, and why it matters.

By Kelly Dobkin from Reader's Digest February 2012

While most of us agree that 20 percent (or close to it) is the standard amount to leave on a restaurant check, other tipping-related matters leave us scratching our heads. To settle these debates once and for all, Steve Dublanica, former server and author of the blog Waiter Rant and recent book Keep the Change: A Clueless Tipper’s Quest to Become the Guru of the Gratuity, weighs in on some hot-button issues.

1. SHOULD YOU TIP ON THE TAX?

On one hand: There’s no reason to tip on the tax. The restaurant doesn’t get to keep tax money. When gratuity is automatically included on a check for a large party, it’s added pretax.

On the other: When most servers total their sales at the end of the night, they include the tax in the amount. This “cash-out” amount determines how much they tip out to busboys, runners, and other staff members. By not tipping on tax, you’re stiffing them out of their fair share.

Steve’s verdict: “I like it when you do, but you don’t have to tip on the tax.”

2. WHAT IS THE CORRECT AMOUNT TO TIP ON DRINKS?

On one hand: Twenty percent is way too much — it’s just a drink! The standard in most bars is $1 for each beverage or 10 percent, which generally adds up to $1. Bartenders are tipped out by other members of the staff, so they are walking away with plenty of money.

On the other: Bartenders do more work than servers because they’re the ones actually making the drinks, not the server. They deserve the full 20 percent.

Steve’s verdict: “[At the bar] you should leave 15 to 20 percent of the total cost of that drink, which may seem kind of ridiculous. But think of it this way: At the table, you’re paying 15 to 20 percent. Why does the bartender not get that money, but the waiter — who doesn’t make those drinks — does?”

3. DO YOU ALWAYS TIP YOUR BARISTA?

On one hand: Yes. They’re skilled workers and deserve tips just as much as other food-service employees.

On the other: Baristas make a decent hourly wage, unlike servers, and they don’t work for tips. Besides, what’s the point of tipping them if they don’t see you put the money in the jar?

Steve’s verdict: “I learned when I worked as a barista that if you get a cup of coffee and give us the change from buying that cup, we’re really grateful. But I’ve seen people order one of these frothy iced milk latte-type chemistry experiments — which can be more complicated to prepare than a martini — and then not tip. For baristas who make you one of these, tip a dollar.”

See also: 13 Things Your Barista Won’t Tell You

4. WHEN, IF EVER, IS IT ACCEPTABLE TO LEAVE A BAD TIP?

On one hand: Never. Even if your server really, really screws up, the tip money is being distributed to multiple employees of the restaurant. If you’re unhappy with your server, it’s not fair to penalize the busboy, bartender, food runners, and other employees who depend on this money to make their living.

On the other: It’s OK to leave a bad tip if you receive bad service. It’s your right as a customer, and it will send a message of displeasure to the restaurant.

Steve’s verdict: “I don’t suggest stiffing servers on the tip, because you are punishing all the other people connected to that food chain. I tell people to talk to the manager and say, ‘I had very poor service, but I’m leaving a tip anyway.’”

See also: 20 Secrets Your Waiter Won’t Tell You

5. SHOULD A SERVER BE ABLE TO AUTOMATICALLY INCLUDE GRATUITY IF IT’S NOT A LARGE GROUP?

On one hand: Yes, in certain cases. Many tourists from other countries don’t understand the tipping protocol in the United States. Servers have a right to protect themselves.

On the other: It’s outrageous for a server to include the tip unless it’s a large group. Legally, servers don’t have the right to make the customer pay any gratuity.

Steve’s verdict: “If you were to include a service charge automatically, you would have to tell everyone who walks in that you’re adding a 20 percent service charge. I don’t support waiters deciding who they’re going to attach a tip to. That’s not their job — that’s management’s job — and they need to have a very well thought-out policy about why they’re doing that.”

Your Comments

  • Nitebmet

    This is about the nonsense that a poor tip should never be given because it hurts the staff.
    Right out of the gate this is absurd, originally it was T.I.P.S. , which is an acronym for “To Increase Prompt Service” which used to be given before the meal, over time patrons began giving after when the bill came , and the owners decided that money should be part of the servers salary, .
    When dining out , part of the price , is food prep, food handling, storage, service, rent, .If you were to prepare foods at home it can be as much as a sixteenth of the price.

  • drillsgtmark

    I am tired of whiny people who work as servers in food or service industry.  There is absolutely, unequivocally no mandates to tip in any industry.  Nobody owes you a penny more than what the bill states.  If you don’t like it, don’t work in the industry.

    And if you did not receive a tip, review and see what you did wrong with your service.  The argument that you affect other people, is weak at best. If you have guilty feelings about what you could, should, or would have done, too bad,  Learn and grow and not repeat the error.  You know what you did right or wrong when you did not receive a tip.  Now you pay the price of your error.

    The business is there to make a profit based on what the bill states without consideration of a tip. And finally be happy you have a job, even if you don’t receive tips.  There are at least 6 people behind you who would be satisfied to even have work. 

  • Star7230

    Where I work servers and bartenders tip out the barbacks and food runners. We make 2.62 an hr plus whatever we make in tips. We make servers drinks and dont get paid for it. It’s part of the gig. But keep in mind we are not raking in big bucks, we make a little over minimum wage and most of us have 2 or more jobs to pay our bills. We are just trying to make a living not screw you out of money. If you don’t Wang to tip or can’t afford to, stay home!

  • Lsxlbahamut

    This is not a reason, simply because there are states that don’t allow servers to make below minimum wage. If you live in a state that allows employers to stiff you because they want to pay you less and have it legal than you need to change the law in your state. In California you will never find a server that makes less than minimum wage per hour, it is illegal. So, why then do people in California have to be pressured to tip? The point of tipping is to make sure your server breaks even, but over here they already break even. There is a point when it becomes ridiculous to tip unless there is a large group and a large order.

  • drillsgtmark

    I tip 20% or more when service is good.  However when I read about mandates about tipping, then that gets my dander up.  Where I live, there are people that make 50k-100K working as a server.  I am sorry to hear how meager the salary is for you..  

  • Moving On

    I didn’t see your newest comment here drillsgtmark.  Seems civil enough – and, I agree.

  • Leannsherman

    How about the “invisible” people who provide services for us:  our newspaper carriers and hotel housekeepers – just to name two.

  • LARK ROGERS CHERRY CHILDS

    20% ACROSS THE BOARD IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THE SERVICE IS. WE SHOULD ALL BE MAKING AT LEAST MINIMUM WAGE IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO PAY IT YOU SHOULDN’T BE IN BUSINESS AND IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO GIVE THEM BENEFITS THE SAME THING IS TRUE. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT IS THE PIZZA GUY DELIVERY OR THE BEAUTICIAN EVERYONE GETS THE SAME FROM ME INCLUDING THE MAID THAT CLEANS MY HOME.   

  • CRWva

    There are instances where people come in to restaurants and don’t tip simply because they don’t feel like it. There is nothing wrong with the service, they make casual conversation with workers and just still them anyways. You live in the US and sorry to burst your bubble, but a tip is the majority of the salary for servers and bartenders. If you don’t like it, eat fast food or do everyone else a favor and just stay home! Servers in VA get paid $2.13/hour. Can you live off of $2.13/hr? No. On a paycheck, that ends up paying taxes and then you get 0. If you have a problem, say something to give your server or the restaurant a chance to fix it. It’s because of people like you who probably have never served anyone in their lives who are the customers that everyone hates. It’s not like people grow up dreaming to server pompous a-holes as adults!

  • espinaca verde

    I never met a person who worked and received tips who felt they were tipped enough.

    Bartenders make good money, and why should money be thrown at them for doing their job?

    waiters? waitresses?  they are food runners and little else. I don’t need them entering my dinner party with banter and phony cheerfulness.

    THERE IS NO TIPPING IN JAPAN.  READ THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN. NO SHAKEDOWNS, NO DIRTY LOOKS, THERE IS NO TIPPIING IN JAPAN.

  • Babsnbuzz

    FOR THOSE RESTAURANTS FEATURING ALL YOU CAN EAT, WHAT ARE THE TIPPING RULES FOR THOSE WHO JUST CLEAR THE TABLES AND FOR THOSE WHO JUST SUPPLY YOU WITH DRINK?

  • Guest

    I generally tip 20ish percent as long as the services is good, less if not.
    Both my wife and I have worked in the service industry and understand the importance.

      What irks me though is, in my day, 10% was the accepted amount to tip, now people feel they are entitled to 20%. Prices have gone up considerably, so the meal I served may have come to 20 bucks, and a 2 dollar tip was considered acceptable.
    Now that same meal would cost 30 dollars, and the tip should be 6 bucks? So the average person is getting hit with inflation twice…
      Sorry folks, that’s BS.
      I tip 20% because I can afford to now, and I feel good about it. 
    However, if I still made minimum wage, and was on a ‘special’ night out, having a dinner far beyond my ‘normal’ means, that 100% inflation in tip could mean the difference on whether I eat lunch the next day or not.
       
      I tip according to what I can afford, and what your service was like. I have left a 20 dollar tip on a 25 dollar check, because they staff were fantastic and the meal divine.
      I have also stuck to the 10% rule, because the service was crappy, but I always leave at least that 10%, because I know it’s not the entire teams fault… sometimes it the server, sometimes the cook/chef/bartender, whatever… 
      I may be getting old, and a bit more conservative each year, so take it how you want, but there’s my 2 cents worth.

      (Login is not working, guess I’m posting as Guest today)

  • Guest

    I generally tip 20ish percent as long as the services is good, less if not.
    Both my wife and I have worked in the service industry and understand the importance.

      What irks me though is, in my day, 10% was the accepted amount to tip, now people feel they are entitled to 20%. Prices have gone up considerably, so the meal I served may have come to 20 bucks, and a 2 dollar tip was considered acceptable.
    Now that same meal would cost 30 dollars, and the tip should be 6 bucks? So the average person is getting hit with inflation twice…
      Sorry folks, that’s BS.
      I tip 20% because I can afford to now, and I feel good about it. 
    However, if I still made minimum wage, and was on a ‘special’ night out, having a dinner far beyond my ‘normal’ means, that 100% inflation in tip could mean the difference on whether I eat lunch the next day or not.
       
      I tip according to what I can afford, and what your service was like. I have left a 20 dollar tip on a 25 dollar check, because they staff were fantastic and the meal divine.
      I have also stuck to the 10% rule, because the service was crappy, but I always leave at least that 10%, because I know it’s not the entire teams fault… sometimes it the server, sometimes the cook/chef/bartender, whatever… 
      I may be getting old, and a bit more conservative each year, so take it how you want, but there’s my 2 cents worth.

      (Login is not working, guess I’m posting as Guest today)

  • Guest

    I generally tip 20ish percent as long as the services is good, less if not.
    Both my wife and I have worked in the service industry and understand the importance.

      What irks me though is, in my day, 10% was the accepted amount to tip, now people feel they are entitled to 20%. Prices have gone up considerably, so the meal I served may have come to 20 bucks, and a 2 dollar tip was considered acceptable.
    Now that same meal would cost 30 dollars, and the tip should be 6 bucks? So the average person is getting hit with inflation twice…
      Sorry folks, that’s BS.
      I tip 20% because I can afford to now, and I feel good about it. 
    However, if I still made minimum wage, and was on a ‘special’ night out, having a dinner far beyond my ‘normal’ means, that 100% inflation in tip could mean the difference on whether I eat lunch the next day or not.
       
      I tip according to what I can afford, and what your service was like. I have left a 20 dollar tip on a 25 dollar check, because they staff were fantastic and the meal divine.
      I have also stuck to the 10% rule, because the service was crappy, but I always leave at least that 10%, because I know it’s not the entire teams fault… sometimes it the server, sometimes the cook/chef/bartender, whatever… 
      I may be getting old, and a bit more conservative each year, so take it how you want, but there’s my 2 cents worth.

      (Login is not working, guess I’m posting as Guest today)

  • Rutger

    What about hair dressers.  I am so tired of them expecting tips and then opening million dollar salons.  I do not tip them anymore.  If she wants $30 for a hair cut and I think its worth it I will pay it.  If she wants $35 and I think its worth it I will pay it and so on.  Same with dog groomers.  What are they going to do if I do not tip,  give me a bad hair cut? I know I am not alone in this.  Oh and same for manicure/pedicure.  My mother gave a $2.00 tip for a $20.00 pedicure and the girl (from another country) ridiculed her buy showing her a five was what she expected.  I gave a hairdressor 2- $20 dollar bills for a $28 dollar hair cut and she asked if I needed change.  Are they crazy.  I like what one grooming salon said, Tips are appreciated but not expected.

  • shaunh20

    No, the point of tipping is not to have your server “break even”.  The point of tipping is not about you trying to make sure the server gets a good wage or a bad wage or anything of the sort.  The point of tipping is to provide a thank you for good service or a statement of not acceptable for poor service.  It’s really quite simple to me, if I get great service I give 25%.  If I get good service or acceptable service I give 20%.  If I get poor service I give 10% and if I get terrible service I don’t give anything. 

    As for California, they are not the rule in hardly any discussion on how things work in America.  They are like their own little socialistic, strange country.  Never use them as an example of how to do things.  They are completely bankrupt after all.

  • Laurenm3

    Dear Kelly Dobkin,
      If you wrote this, you should be really ashamed of yourself. The fact that “Reader’s Digest” published ‘your’ article is even more absurd. 

  • Verageoff1

    I know why there are bad servers now! It’s because they deal with self rightous people who fail to step outside there world. Lets get this straight, a tip genarally given to show appreciation for specific service. It’s that simple! If you lack the compassion to leave a measly couple bucks for a service, then just go away. The world could use a lot less a-holes

  • Verageoff1

    I know why there are bad servers now! It’s because they deal with self rightous people who fail to step outside there world. Lets get this straight, a tip genarally given to show appreciation for specific service. It’s that simple! If you lack the compassion to leave a measly couple bucks for a service, then just go away. The world could use a lot less a-holes

  • drillsgtmark

    I received your message loud and clear, and I will be very clear, I tip at 20% and sometimes higher.  It is the server’s responsibility for what he/she will receive as a tip.  There is absolutely no mandates to tip.  Tip means to insure promptness, so there will be consequences for bad service.