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What Your HR Person Won’t Tell You About Being Fired

How to avoid getting a pink slip, how to know when it’s coming, and what to do when you’re shown the door.

Condensed from Reader’s Digest Magazine | April 2011

HR pros reveal how to avoid getting a pink slip, how to know when it’s coming, and what to do when you’re shown the door.

Plus: 10 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Loses Their Job

1. “If there was someone we no longer wanted at the company, we’d give him all the worst assignments on impossible deadlines, set him up to fail, and document that. After a few months, we could safely terminate him.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resources executive and author of Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know

2. “If we ask you to travel for your job or attend a conference, it’s not really a question. Say no, and it can be career-ending.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, North Carolina

3. “If you’re put on a performance-improvement plan, you’re cooked. I might look you in the eye and say we’re going to do everything possible to make this work, but that’s just total BS.” –HR director at financial services firm

4. “I once had to fire someone with four kids right before Christmas. When he asked me why, I couldn’t tell him it was because he said something in an all-company meeting that the CEO took as in insult.” –Cynthia Shapiro

5. “If you’re a high-level employee and they put you on a special assignment and take away other responsibilities so you can focus on that ‘special assignment,’ start fixing up your résumé, because you’re on your way out the door.” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the Evil HR Lady on bnet.com

6. “When you get laid off, you’ll probably get a separation agreement in which you agree not to sue. That document is what allows you to negotiate, so before you sign it, ask for more severance money, ask for more COBRA, something. The worst thing they can do is say no.” –Cynthia Shapiro

7. “Always apply for unemployment, because the state makes the decision, not the company, and often the company won’t bother to fight it.” –Suzanne Lucas

8. “The worst feeling in the world? Going into the ladies’ room and seeing nine people you know who won’t have a job in a week and having to act normal.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

See also: What HR People Won’t Tell You About Your Résumé, What HR People Won’t Tell You About the Job Interview, What HR People Won’t Tell You About Salaries and Raises

Plus:
Surprising Field Where Job Opportunities Abound
What Job Will You Be Most Successful At? Your Contribution Style Will Tell

Your Comments

  • Smart4077

    we always knew at my old job that HR was not our friend, no matter what they were always on the side of the managers not the employees.

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Arubadooba

    HR = BS
    I  knew what was happening from the start: the manager whispering to my secretary, and when I walked in on them, he fumbled words and started the nervous whistling.  I guess they both figured that I was a moron and didn’t know their plan: fire me and give her my job.  The CEO and HR weren’t much better.  They used the classic rule book to get rid of me: make him hate his job so much he’ll want to quit, and since I didn’t quit or have a heart attack from their tricks and games, give him a severance package and apply for unemployment. 

  • Murphyajnjc

    I was let go after 20 years, they got rid of everyone that helped get the company built up from the start, sorry to see the way the company is doing now but it will not be around much longer with these new A holes running it. 

  • Andy

     When I worked for my cities billing office I got the feeling our HR didn’t like me too much, I explained to them on my first day (I was placed here as a summer program/job opportunity) that I have low iron and when cold I get tired and for them to not be surprised when I fall asleep. I ended up nodding off in front of a lecture I was receiving from one of the major HR folk. She was angry, even after I had explained myself, it was intentional since she was doing this so I’d be able to work with computers (since I’m good with them). Just wish they didn’t stick me in the only room with the AC below 60 degrees 24/7.

  • Andy

     wasn’t intentional* 

  • Kathellen9

    typical BS, that’s why we have unions, karma will take care of the CEO who fired someone with 4 kids before Christmas because he felt “insulted” at a meeting.  Typical ego driven management. 

  • Ohiopositive

    I think once upon a time, the HR group was there to help both the employee and the employer.  Obviously, based on the comments from the HR professionals, there is very little compassion or caring by many personnel directors.  Good to hear some inside info however. 

  • Walmart Sucks!

    Sounds like Wal-Mart Home Office.  Except that our HR department is full of lying, unethical snakes.  Don’t believe the BS you see in their commercials.  They’re full of crap!  Right, Becky?

  • Julie

    I feel you .I,m angry at the fact my hr is full of BS to she said whats go on in her office stay there well that not true i had a meeting with my HR about my manager and the first thing she said was what we talk here stay in her office well every body no ever thing now she a lier she no better they us

  • Julie

    that what i thought to but here where are doing are best anyway for pulling my 8hr and taking care of me

  • hot hoosier

    I brought up an incident of breech of confidentiality regarding my supervisor to the H.R. director.  When I was asked to put everything in writing she then asked me what I wanted her to do about it!  When you have to advise H.R. what to do with a problem you have experienced – the company has a real problem on their hands!!  And needless to say my feelings were not that important to put an end to the problem.

  • http://twitter.com/bungalows zoey

    If only karma was real!

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Cooper

    Julie, I am very surprised you have not moved on to a much better job, perhaps in public service.

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Anonymous

    Companies would do better to just get rid of useless HR people

  • Kelly

    HR keeps tabs on you, so I say you keep well documented files about you and your job responsibilities. I had a boss that was trying to fire me and he ended up losing his job because I had kept great records of what was going on. Believe me HR can work for you too (if you can put them into a corner). Having a co-worker verify your data is just another plus.

  • Xyz

    The human resoure departmant is neither human nor a resource.

  • Enigma

    24 years and 3 months for a business named Comdata – I remember many times sitting in a conference room while we were all being told who in the office was being let go. One day HR came calling to my work area – I looked around an realized eveyone was away – it had become my turn. I put my car keys in my pocket. They (HR) had the nerve to overnight me a company coffee cup that was at my desk along with a used toothbrush and almost empty tube of toothpaste. That business office was closed a couple of years later. 180 good people worked ther at one time. All the people who really cared and built that division up had been released or moved on. It was no longer profitable. Everything changed in a moment. Trust – never again. I am overly  cautious in all my actions.

  • Enigma

    24 years and 3 months for a business named Comdata – I remember many times sitting in a conference room while we were all being told who in the office was being let go. One day HR came calling to my work area – I looked around an realized eveyone was away – it had become my turn. I put my car keys in my pocket. They (HR) had the nerve to overnight me a company coffee cup that was at my desk along with a used toothbrush and almost empty tube of toothpaste. That business office was closed a couple of years later. 180 good people worked ther at one time. All the people who really cared and built that division up had been released or moved on. It was no longer profitable. Everything changed in a moment. Trust – never again. I am overly  cautious in all my actions.

  • rjohn smith hrhater

    two words.  HR A$$H0LEs………  all of them…  doesn’t this article prove no one should have anything but contempt and hate for them????  not of the human race…..   roast then all

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Prometheus-Deity/100001866483503 Prometheus Deity

    The most awkward feeling in the world?  Going into the men’s room at work and seeing 9 other guys.

  • C_wallenmeyer

    No they are protecting the companies’ interests and keeping them out of legal issues. Your meeting with them is nothing morevthan a fact finding mission to identify where the company may be legally liable. It’s not “human resources”

  • Mitch

    That CEO is your typical suit pu$$y who can’t do the job himself

  • Grammar Police

    Geezus, learn some grammar, how to spell and punctuate.

  • Anonymous

    I had a boss who was the most HORRIBLE person on earth.  He was useless at his job, and he spent all his time trying to pin his failures on me.  I, unfortunately for him, got wind that he was trying to fire me.  The dumba$$ was stupid enough to ask me to check his emails all the time while simultaneously a) complaining about me to all of my co-workers by email (these emails I printed and saved just in case) and b) talking to HR about replacing me with one of his friends by email.  HR had informed him that, unless he had cause (which he did not), he had to lay me off, and he couldn’t replace me using the same job description.  That is what he WANTED to do, but I found another position with the company before he got his chance.  The best part?  He, and all of his friends, were fired within a year.  I’m still there and loving my new position.  LOL!  Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

  • Oldman

    So these people are all lying bastards. Sweet dreams, if you can sleep at night, and be sure to send me a postcard when you get to hell.

  • Zippy

    If nine ladies are hanging around in the restroom, no wonder they are getting fired.

  • Justsaying

    I used to be appreciative of human resources as being helpful to us employee but when I lost my job and didn’t even qualify for EDD (which I believe I have money too since I had been contributing for so many years) and then I read this article, I felt terribly sad and flushed back of those times before they told me I need to go and that resigning is better than being fired, made sense now that I was duped. Human resources is really for the company’s resources and not an employee’s help resource.

  • Justsaying

    That’s what happened to me. I reported a harassment and I ended up the one being fired. Someone suggested reporting it to EEO because there were witnesses in my case but after the HR disillusion, is it worth it or will it at least help? I still remember what EDD told me, most big company like the one I used to work for don’t tell a lie and I asked her if she’s implying that I’m lying?

    It’s really difficult for employees to fight a system that’s really not there to help them.

  • justsaying

    Thanks so much that will help a lot of employee.

  • Jay

    I used to work in a corporate office and I quit a couple of years ago. Reading this reminds me why I am minimizing my lifestyle in order to never have to be in that environment again.  I don’t mind working hard but I hate the silly politics.  

  • Anonymous

    That’s how corporation operate. You have to keep working more and more to keep the same pay/minimal raise. Be ready and always have a plan B. Dump them before they dump you. :)

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • Anonymous HR person

    Question: How does the HR director at a company know s/he’s about to lose his/her job?
    Answer:  S/he doesn’t.  It’s an ambush done in a phone call on a Friday afternoon.

  • nbsp

    Karma is one of the few things I have faith in.  I think a lack of humility blinds us sometimes to the evidence of it.

  • Jen

    I’m glad to know this happens to someone else. I don’t have low iron, but if I get very cold, I cannot stay awake at all. The thing is, I have been told that some places crank the AC to keep people awake (in meetings especially)!