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In celebration of Mother's Day, we thought we'd right a wrong with your help.
Know those jokes that begin, "Yo Momma is so ..." and end with an insult? Our new
contest aims to turn the joke on its head. We've come up with some NICE
Yo Momma jokes:
- "Yo Momma is so honest, she wouldn't steal second base during a softball game."
- "Yo Momma is so thrifty, she asks for a price check at the Dollar Store."
- "Yo Momma is so careful, when she heard that 90 percent of all accidents occur at home, she moved."
Okay, your turn! Send us your own anti-Yo Momma joke. The author of our favorite
will win a cool prize and might just get published in Reader's Digest.
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Till next month,
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The Editors
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Vanity Plates Contest Winner
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We asked you to come up with a clever license plate for a celebrity — and you
delivered! The race was close, but in the end, the grand prize went to contributor "Daniel Wood":
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URTONDEF — Simon Cowell
Runners-Up:
2HOT — Al Gore, submitted by Bob McDonnell
QURTRS — 50 Cent, submitted by Aimee Toms
OO — Dolly Parton, submitted by Scott Greenleaf
FI R M ALL — Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, submitted by Kathryn Scace
More American Idol Inspiration:
YODAWG — Randy Jackson, submitted by Bob McDonnell
GIDDYJDG — Paula Abdul, submitted by Jim Coates (who also came up with DAWGJDG and MEANJDG)
OSKR4ME — Jennifer Hudson, submitted by Marlene R. Fraioli
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While visiting my son on his Army base, I chatted with a colleague of his.
"What rank are you?" I asked.
"I'm relieved to say that I've just been promoted from captain to major."
"Relieved? Why?"
"Because," he replied, "my last name is Hook."
— Submitted by Barbara Blackburn
Read more Humor in Uniform jokes
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Like a typical teenager, my fifteen-year-old son dreaded our family vacation
at a seaside cottage in the middle of Boring Nowhere. But his eyes brightened
when I said, "Did I tell you we'll be buying lobsters from Pamela Anderson?
We'll even bike to her house to pick them up."
Then his face grew dark as the horrible truth dawned: "There's more than one
Pamela Anderson, isn't there?"
Submitted by Dana Biscotti Myskowski
Read more Life in These United States jokes
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"Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them."
— Kevin Costner in Tin Cup
Read more Quotable Quotes on RD.com!
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You didn't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that a customer at our post
office was an off-duty mail clerk from another plant. He'd written on his
package, "Fragile: Toss Underhand."
Submitted by Denise Martin
Read more All in a Day's Work jokes
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| Headline News |
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Clear, concise headlines are an imperative to good news reporting.
Dead Man Ignored Police Order — (Scottsdale) Arizona Republic
Submitted by Janet L. Jacobsen
County Invited to Waste Day Planning Meeting — Oceana (Michigan) Herald-Journal
Submitted by Nancy Bengtsson
Terror Leader in Iraq Declares War on Tape — Associated Press
Did something in a newspaper, magazine or online news site crack you up? Send it over.
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According to the Census Bureau, Americans will spend nearly 10 hours a day
watching TV, surfing the web, reading and listening to music this year. The
problem is, we'll be doing all these things while we're driving.
— Ben Walsh
Read more jokes at RD.com
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 for the funny true stories we print in Life in These United States, All in a Day's Work and Humor in Uniform. |
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 for jokes, quotes, and other material used in Laughter, the Best Medicine, Quotable Quotes or elsewhere in the magazine. |
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P.S. Did a friend or family member send you this newsletter? Sign up to get Laugh Lines, the official humor newsletter from Reader's Digest,
sent directly to your email address. It's entertaining, and absolutely  .
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