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Dear Friend,
Love to laugh? Good, because you've received the first
issue of the Reader's Digest humor newsletter, Laugh Lines, chock-full
of the funnies you love from America's favorite magazine,
Reader's Digest.
You can read even more hilarious stories at rd.com/fun,
and submit your own at rd.com/submitajoke. If we publish
your submission in the magazine, you'll get paid!
How's that for laughing all the way to the bank?
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Lawyers are leaving their mark everywhere. Today I went to the aquarium and saw a sign that read: "Alleged Killer Whale."
Submitted by Gregg Siegel
GET PAID FOR YOUR OWN FUNNY STORY.
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Get the book "Laughter, the Best Medicine," featuring 600 jokes and funny stories. Get more info! |
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A friend of mine got lost on the way to the Mountain View Playhouse, a theater in a small North Carolina town. He stopped at a farmhouse, where a woman gave him excellent directions.
A week later he went back to see another play, got lost again and stopped at the same house. When the woman came to the door, she exclaimed, "My heavens! You haven't found it yet?"
Submitted by Tyson Betty
GET PAID FOR YOUR OWN FUNNY STORY.
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Get the book "Life In These United States," bringing to life 50 years of our funniest anecdotes, stories, and memories. Get more info! |
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A co-worker was looking the worse for wear following a blowout shindig the night before.
"Are you feeling all right?" I asked.
"I don't know," she answered slowly. "I think I'm suffering from post-partying depression."
Submitted by May-Ling Gonzales
GET PAID FOR YOUR OWN FUNNY STORY.
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Military cost cutting has hit everything, including toilet paper. Only the cheapest graces our latrines. So when a couple of boxes filled with the good stuff -- two-ply tissue! -- fell in our laps, it was like manna from heaven. But the next morning, our behinds were brought down to earth. It was all a mistake. The boxes were intended for the officers club.
"I should have known," grumbled the supply sergeant. "Our officers demand everything in duplicate!"
Submitted by Gary Winter
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Read more great jokes at rd.com. |
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 MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING (2002) You may have seen this blockbuster back when it played in the theaters, but it's even funnier the second time around. It centers on the life story of Toula (Nia Vardalos), whose family instructs her to marry a Greek boy and make Greek babies. Instead she chooses Ian (John Corbett). The collision of cultures is inevitable. ("I'm a vegetarian," Ian explains to a Greek aunt. "That's OK. I'll make lamb.") Fine performances all around, especially from Michael Constantine as Toula's ethnocentric dad.
Buy this film on DVD.
Buy this film on VHS. |
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You Know the Drill
By Mary Roach
"I went to the dentist this week, after a hiatus of some centuries…"
Read the whole funny story. |
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Can you top this joke?
If you have a joke or amusing true story that you think is even funnier than the one below, post it here on the message board. Your submission could get published in Reader's Digest magazine. If it does, you'll get paid!
I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
Submitted by Antonio Curtis, Vallejo, Calif.
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