Are You Normal or Nuts?

I'm 44 and I have always thought about ways to die. I've been on anti-depressants but the thought never leaves my mind. I'm afraid to come right out and tell anybody for fear of being admitted. I know definitely that I won't do it but I'm always thinking about it, ( I joke about it to myself...I couldn't do that because then my family wouldn't receive my millions in life insurance) I have a wonderful husband, children and grand children, good friends and a good job. I laugh, I cry, I feel emotions but even when they are at their best I'm wondering in the back of my mind how would it be if I killed myself. I can't believe that other people think like this...am I nuts ???

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I always have the urge to chew on something (hair, pencil, food, gum). I really hate it, I think it maybe a factor of my weight gain over the years. Sometimes I can control the urge, but many times I can't. I just want to bite down on something. Am I nuts, normal or in between?

My girlfriend has the NICEST behind. I long to have her wear one of those "school girl" type, pleated skirts. And, oh yeah, I'd like the skirt to be just long enough to be socially acceptable, but short enough that the back of it hangs from her lovely behind "just right" (if you know what I mean). I'm not into school girls (underaged females), but I'm afraid that if I let my girlfriend know of my desire she'll think I am. But I REALLY, REALLY WANT THIS. Am I NUTS???

I constantly find myself pulling out the stray hairs on my arms so that all the hair is closer to being uniform. I usually don't think about it because I will do it while I am watching TV or reading a book but my friends have pointed it out to me while we are in the middle of a conversation. I'm not sure if this is just a sign of boredom or something else. Any suggestions?

After I say something, anything at all, I have to repeat it by mouthing it in a whisper or in my head. I didn't even notice I did it until a friend pointed it out and I realized that I can't not do it, and one more "issue" I guess you could say, I'm paranoid that my mom is going to die young and I get so worked up over it I kind of freak out when she's away from me because all I can think about is was that the last time I'm ever going to see my mom? I get really nervous, am I nuts?