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A Work in Progress
RD: Do you think aging is harder for you because you're a public figure?Bergen: People have a yardstick to measure us by. They see you in a film from 20 years ago ... we all look at some people now and say, "Oooh, they should have stayed home."
RD: I think women suffer more under that particular scrutiny. Men in show business are allowed to age.
Bergen: Look at Clint [Eastwood]. All these guys are doing love scenes with women 30, 40 years younger, and nobody makes a peep. That's one of the last double standards that I'd like to see go. It's just ridiculous, but I think it's beginning to change.
RD: Louis Malle. Having experienced his death, what do you have to share about going through the grief process and coming out the other side still wanting to savor life?
Bergen: Well, it gives you more of that. I think it stands to reason that when you see someone who's close to you and so dynamic go through a long, difficult illness, you feel like you have to appreciate life -- that it's almost an insult to them if you quibble about things that don't matter.
RD: If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Bergen: Aside from eternal life? It's nice that you narrow it, because if you say, "If I could eat and not gain weight," then somebody else says, "World peace," you feel like the proverbial schmuck.
RD: Aside from eternal life. Something personal.
Bergen: I would wish my daughter the longest, healthiest, most fulfilling life. I hope I'll be around long enough to see a grandchild. I think it's good if you have a goal if you read the obits, which I do. I used to think 85 was good, but now I'm thinking, okay, I'd like to get to a vigorous 90. But by the time we get to be 70, living to 90 will be routine. So, hmmm, I'll go for a vigorous 90 -- or a frail 95.
RD: Okay, tell us one little pleasure you crave.
Bergen: I'd like to eat the way I did 20 years ago. I'm getting beefier while eating less. In six months. I'm like, What happened here?
RD: Is there one thing in particular you wish you could eat without consequence?
Bergen: No. Why think small? I just want to eat anything I want. Be a size eight, fit, not creaky.
RD: In other words, growing old means it's okay to appreciate life.
Bergen: You've gone through enough that you're comfortable with who you are. It doesn't mean you don't stop trying to be better. I have moments all the time when I just can't believe I'm such an abysmal human being, when I can't stand myself. But there has to be some acceptance of who you are, and that you're always a work in progress.
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