That’s my Halloween costume. I’m going as a dog going as Superman.

Are you going to a Halloween party this year? If so, you probably have your costume picked out, as well as your candy carrier (mine is a Samsonite Cruisair suitcase, with a hard body so that my chocolaty booty doesn’t get crushed and spinning wheels so I don’t wreck my back lugging it all home).

You also probably know exactly the type of person you’ll see at the party. That’s because, as The Frisky points out, there are exactly nine types of people who show up at these shindigs. For example, “there’s the guy who’s not dressed up and really wants to tell you why. He’s mingling through the sea of costumes wearing jeans and a hoodie and a smirk on his face, waiting for people to ask, ‘Why aren’t you dressed up?’ so he can use his clever line. ‘I’m a serial killer,’ he’ll say. ‘We look just like regular people.’ Har, har.”

Others you’ll meet include, “The person who obviously hates Halloween,” and “the guy who is wearing a dress and a woman’s wig and thinks it’s the funniest costume in history.”

If you’re not one of these types, feel free to read the rest. If you are one of these, I hope you’re the one wearing the dress and wig, because, let’s face it, that is pretty funny.