10 Funny Happy Hour Quotes

A drink or two is perfect for after-work bonding, but too many can lead to disaster. Read these funny quotes about the joys and pitfalls of alcohol from some famous imbibers.

from Treasury of Wit & Wisdom
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I work until beer o'clock.
-- Stephen King

"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly."
-- Conan O'Brien

"Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?"
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
-- Dylan Thomas

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
-- Dylan Thomas

I exercise self-control and never touch a beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.
-- W. C. Fields

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
-- Mitch Ratliffe

Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.
-- Dizzy Dean

As a cure for worrying,work is better than whiskey.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
-- Rodney Dangerfield