10 Questions You Shouldn’t Ask a New Mom

A brief lesson in social etiquette all of us can refer to when talking with a new mom.

By Dina El Nabli
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    1. When are you due?

    It's a seemingly harmless question, except when asked to a hormonal new mother two weeks after giving birth.

    2. Did you give birth naturally?

    I respect anyone who chooses natural childbirth but would rather not be judged for choosing to get an epidural.

    3. Is it a boy or girl?

    If the little one’s name doesn't make it obvious and the baby isn’t wearing pink or blue, it's ok. You'll figure this out soon enough without having to ask.

    4. Are you breastfeeding?

    The last thing a new mother needs is a guilt trip over how she's feeding her baby. Besides, it's really not your business.

    5. Is the baby eating enough? How often does she go?

    Unless you're a doctor, nurse, lactation consultant or recruited expert, don't give a new mom another reason to worry about feedings and wet diapers.

    6. Are you getting any sleep?

    If the baby is a few weeks old, the answer to this question will always be no. Sleep deprivation is a normal -- and expected -- part of being a new mother.

    7. Are you planning to go back to work?

    This question can be rephrased in a number of ways: Can you afford to be a full-time stay-at-home mom? How will you possibly be able to leave your baby with a stranger? How are you going to manage working and having a kid? Just don’t go there and you’ll both escape the stress this question will cause.

    8. How much weight did you gain?

    Losing the baby weight is a long process for many of us and one that I didn't want to start thinking about when my kids were a couple of weeks old.

    9. Are you sure you should be going to the (fill in the blank) with the baby?

    Having an infant doesn’t mean you’ve been put under house arrest. Sometimes, all a new mom wants is a chance to get out of the house without being judged. At times, just going to the supermarket with my newborn son (exciting, right?) was all the change of scenery I needed.

    10. Are you planning on having another?

    I really couldn’t imagine this right after giving birth. Please don’t ask.

    See also:
    10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman
    5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Bride

    Your Comments

    • newmom

      the question about breast feeding and going to work is surely annoying………… I AGREE