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13+ Things a Burglar Won’t Tell You

Is it a crime to spend money on a home security system these days? A look inside the mind of convicted burglars will help you decide.

Interviews by Michelle Crouch from Reader's Digest | September 2009
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1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

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3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste … and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

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4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

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5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

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6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

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8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.

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9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)

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10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

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11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

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12. You're right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

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13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)




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14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

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15. The two things I hate most: Loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

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16. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.

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17. Your alarm only works if it's on. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

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18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

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19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.

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20. Lock your windows. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.

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21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in. 

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

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Your Comments

  • Steve

    FakeTV, I liked the idea so much I bought one for my house. Then, after seeing how well it worked, I bought some for my family as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1535946333 Karen Hitchcock

    My Dad is on an Alzheimers’ unit, & Mom’s gone most of the day, sitting, holding his hand. And although it’s a rural area, everyone still knows everyone’s business. I’m going to get her a fakeTV, and a fake alarm panel (just wire an LED to a 9 volt battery – it’ll last forever.)

    • Shravani Kurapati

      Nice idea, but that won’t keep any robber from robbing your house, no?Think about it.

    • Shravani Kurapati

      Nice idea, but that won’t keep any robber from robbing your house, no?Think about it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FGC2ANZA43O7MOXXD74YKZ2CYU TKramar

    Got tired of tossing out pizza flyers, so we taped one to the door.

    The problem a burglar would have here is that someone is almost always home. I work nights so I’m home during the day, and my room mate is here all night.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FGC2ANZA43O7MOXXD74YKZ2CYU TKramar

    Knock all you want, I’m not going to answer.

    • Shvraknidshan

      Hello! Did you snap out of it? Look TKramar if you don’t know who it is then how are you going to not answer it huh? What if it’s someone you rust or know? Think about it genuis.

      • PhotonX

        I know this is an older thread, but I just have to say…. Wow. In addition to being a second-class prick, this genuis can’t even spell genius, or.consider that the original poster might have CCTV. 
        .
        Think about it.

    • Andrew

       If you don’t answer, then about 60 seconds later, your back door is going to get kicked in and they are coming in to your house. Hopefully, they don’t have a weapon and they don’t want to hurt you. The best thing to do is not open the door, but ask who is there with it closed.

  • Vaknessveer

    Wouldn’t it be so much better if you put it all in your bank locker instead of keeping it in your master bedroom. it’s much harder to break into the bank then your house, you know.

  • Ruger P95

    I find that my 7 motion detectors, my signs warning potential burglars about my camera monitoring system, and my automatic floodlights which go on and stay on every night are good deterrent.  None of them, however, are as good as my 9MM Ruger pistol which I carry with me everywhere I go INCLUDING inside my house.   Did I mention that it carries SIXTEEN rounds, and that I carry another 16 round clip with me?  I do not answer the door no matter who is knocking, and if they try to break in, they will meet Mr. Ruger.

    God made man, Sam Colt made them equal.

    • Robertbentham

      lol… whatta dillhole

    • Robertbentham

      lol… whatta dillhole

      • NotBornYesterday

        When someone comes to work inside my house they see my gigantic cane corsos viciously barking – guess they wont be back

        • Alarm

          I’ll poison your dog with a steak…Bark Bark no more. Lets not have a false sense of security…you may need more.

          • PlainTruth

            . . . tisk, tisk . . . just try poisoning my Glock 9mm . . .

    • Alarm

      What a bunch of idiots. A burglar is not going to break into your home when you are there. “Oh, mr. homeowner, I am going to break into your home on 2 o’clock on Tuesday afternoon. I am coming in the front door so make sure you are sitting on the stairway so you can blast my but as I come in.” If it’s a home invasion, then blast away…but no likely.
      Oh, don’t forget to let the burglar know to cut your phone and cable lines to cut off communication to the cs.

      • Becie

        Sorry, but there are plenty of cases where burglars have broken into homes that were occupied.  Successful stories were where the homeowner had a gun…

    • Alarm

      What a bunch of idiots. A burglar is not going to break into your home when you are there. “Oh, mr. homeowner, I am going to break into your home on 2 o’clock on Tuesday afternoon. I am coming in the front door so make sure you are sitting on the stairway so you can blast my but as I come in.” If it’s a home invasion, then blast away…but no likely.
      Oh, don’t forget to let the burglar know to cut your phone and cable lines to cut off communication to the cs.

    • Colin

      badass, man. I’m not messing with you.

    • Rainman

      Your Ruger pistol doesn’t use a clip, it uses a magazine. Clips load magazines, they are not the same.

  • Anonymous

    I have insurance.  I don’t worry. /shrug.

  • Wunsurfguy

    I will blow a hole through an intruder and then skull f+ck him/her. I am loaded for bear and will light you up, for sure, dude! Make my day..

  • Goodadvice55

    Armed and waiting for you, burglar

  • Mindlessgue

    groos

  • Mindlessgue

    groos

  • Mcpherson

    Try to live in low crime areas; avoid proximity to metro areas with high populations. Let your lawn grow, the leaves unraked and let your son fix his car in your driveway–for however long it takes. Looking rich is looking ripe for thieves that sneak in the night (or broad daylight).  Also, leaving marksman targets posted on the tree in front doesn’t hurt, either. Just make sure they’re silhouettes of a burglar. If that doesn’t work, you’ll have to hang one from the tree…just to make a point.

  • Mcpherson

    Try to live in low crime areas; avoid proximity to metro areas with high populations. Let your lawn grow, the leaves unraked and let your son fix his car in your driveway–for however long it takes. Looking rich is looking ripe for thieves that sneak in the night (or broad daylight).  Also, leaving marksman targets posted on the tree in front doesn’t hurt, either. Just make sure they’re silhouettes of a burglar. If that doesn’t work, you’ll have to hang one from the tree…just to make a point.

  • Private

    FakeTV, like this article, seems to think burglars are clean-cut White guys.  If you don’t understand your business that well, I don’t want your product.

  • Blc123123

    Consider video cameras as a deterrent, they are easy to see and you can post stickers around, on 24-7, most robbers will want to avoid being recorded either prowling or entering.

  • DAUGHERTYPAMELA

    INEED INSURANCE FOR 9$AMONTH PAYING 60.00 AMONTH THATISJUST WRONG DAUGHERTYPAMELA@ROCKETMAILCOM TELLME WHWRW TO GET THIS QUOTE              THIS IS ME NEEDING HELP

  • DAUGHERTYPAMELA

    INEED INSURANCE FOR 9$AMONTH PAYING 60.00 AMONTH THATISJUST WRONG DAUGHERTYPAMELA@ROCKETMAILCOM TELLME WHWRW TO GET THIS QUOTE              THIS IS ME NEEDING HELP

  • Remhepburn1

    Knock all you want.I always answer the door with a handgun.

  • Skycloud58

    Home Invasion?, Wow, Try it !, haven’t had much fun in along while, so , after my German Sheperd get thru with you, whatever is left , I’ll put in the trash with a snow shovel.

    • a man

      I don’t think you realise how easy it is to kill a dog with you hands

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_USHG4RUY3UMT4EE35XNQRNITBY Brad S

    He says twice that he looks for gaming systems,  but he says he never goes into a kid’s room??

  • Tahmina_11

    I am terrified of burgles 

  • Tahmina_11

    I am terrified of burgles 

  • Tahmina_11

    I am terrified of burgles 

  • Tahmina_11

    I am terrified of burgles 

  • Tahmina_11

    I am terrified of burgles 

  • Lunatik96

    Possessions are chains, a free man has no possessions.
    There is always a way to beat any system.
    It is illegal to booby trap ur house, but I will take my chances with the jury fine.
    A safe room is the best defense and cel phones don’t require anything but a signal.

    Fill ur yard with cedar and gravel and rocks, then it won’t need maintenance.
    Use bonded tradesmen and check ur windows after they leave. Don’t show them ur dogs or any security features, let them surprise him.
    Ur computer guy is ur greatest threat to privacy and security.

  • Jah1_shot

    How about a sign that states:  Steal my mail & packages again and You will B Deleted!

  • Coveydalton

    Somebody knocks on my door and I don’t answer and they kick in the back, they’re getting a .45 hollow point to the face, and since I like violence, they might catch a couple more even if they’re dead. I can handle cleaning up the blood. My dogs will have some good meat until the cops show up.

    • SleeperSmith

      Yes, shoot those fkers. Don’t need bs 2 weeks slap on the wrist jail sentence at expense of the tax payers.

      Scums deserve to die and stop fking contaminating the human gene pool.