11 Crazy Things We Do While We Drive

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Wardrobe Changes

“One time on the 405 in L.A., I saw a woman switch from a very nice business outfit into a leotard. At one point, she was just sitting there in her undergarments.”

Diaper Changes

“A woman had her baby in the front seat next to her and was changing the baby’s diaper.”

Piano Playing

“I saw a gentleman one time-in a Suburban-and he had a full-size piano keyboard sitting between the two seats. He was using his right hand to play it while he was going down the road.”

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Arts and Crafts

“I’ve seen a lot of people sewing or knitting while they’re driving. And, you know, that takes two hands.”

Dog Fancying

“Last week, I had a lady pass me at 70 miles an hour, and I looked down, and her dog-a little Jack Russell terrier-was standing on his back legs and resting his paws on the steering wheel.”

Eating Soup

“I was in Indiana or Ohio, and a woman was driving down the road, steering with her elbows, eating a bowl of soup. Now how in the world do you pull that off without spilling?”

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Putting On Makeup

“What I see all the time is women steering with their knee, with the makeup mirror in one hand and a brush in the other, putting on eye shadow and blush and going 65 or 70 miles an hour. Usually they’re going back and forth across the line, running over and hitting the rumble strips. I blow the horn at them.”

Reading

“One guy actually had a paperback book taped to his steering wheel. It would move when he turned the wheel.”

Putting Both Feet Up

“What I see a lot of times, more with ladies, is they’ll be sitting cross-legged, driving with cruise control. All I can think is, How long is it going to take to get their legs uncrossed and get their foot down to the brake if they need to stop suddenly?”

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Typing and Drinking

“The other day, I saw a guy with a cup of coffee between his legs, typing on his laptop computer and trying to drive. We hit a curve, and he wasn’t going with the curve. I had to tap my horn to alert him.”

Smoking, Drinking, Talking on the Phone

“I’ve seen a lady with a cigarette in one hand, a cup of coffee in that same hand, driving with her elbows and talking on a cell phone at the same time.”


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