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13 Things Your Pilot Won’t Tell You

By Michelle Crouch | December 15 2011
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1. “The truth is, we’re exhausted. Our work rules allow us to be on duty 16 hours without a break. That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud.” -Captain at a major airline

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2. “Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, (flight attendants) can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.” -Jack Stephan, US Airways captain based in Annapolis, Maryland, who has been flying since 1984

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3. “It’s one thing if the pilot puts the seat belt sign on for the passengers. But if he tells the flight attendants to sit down, you’d better listen. That means there’s some serious turbulence ahead.” -John Greaves, airline accident lawyer and former airline captain, Los Angeles

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4. “There’s no such thing as a water landing. It’s called crashing into the ocean.” -Pilot, South Carolina

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5. People always ask, ‘What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?’ I tell them it was a van ride from the Los Angeles airport to the hotel, and I’m not kidding.” -Jack Stephan

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6. “I’ve been struck by lightning twice. Most pilots have. Airplanes are built to take it. You hear a big boom and see a big flash and that’s it. You’re not going to fall out of the sky.” -Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina

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7. “The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place to sit is in the back. A plane is like a seesaw. If you’re in the middle, you don’t move as much.” -Patrick Smith

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8. “If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon.” -Jerry Johnson, pilot, Los Angeles

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9. “People don’t understand why they can’t use their cell phones. Well, what can happen is 12 people will decide to call someone just before landing, and I can get a false reading on my instruments saying that we are higher than we really are.” -Jim Tilmon

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10. “Most people get sick after traveling not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch. Always assume that the tray table and the button to push the seat back have not been wiped down, though we do wipe down the lavatory.” -Patrick Smith

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© David De Lossy/Valueline/Thinkstock
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11. “One of our engines just failed.” What they’ll say instead: “One of our engines is indicating improperly.” (Or more likely, they’ll say nothing, and you’ll never know the difference. Most planes fly fine with one engine down.)

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12. Well, folks, the visibility out there is zero.” What they’ll say instead: “There’s some fog in the Washington area.”

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13. “We miss the peanuts too.” -US Airways pilot, South Carolina

Plus: 35 More Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You and 13 Things Your Flight Attendant Won't Tell You

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Your Comments

  • Shennesay

    The reason why is most accidents happen during takeoff taxi and landing, before writing these dumb statements do your research…..

  • Shennesay

    The reason why is most accidents happen during takeoff taxi and landing, before writing these dumb statements do your research…..

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3GWTVPQ7P3BGUI2AN2Q2HDAQCE SOOTHSAYER

    14. “We’re running out of fuel. We’re been running on fumes for the past 5 minutes.”

  • Tiggersf

    Totally agree with number 5! I think we ran about 20 red lights!

  • Ruben

    AND i LOVE TO FLY ON THANKSGAVING WEEK IM IN A FLIGHT TO HOUSTON FROM ONTRARIO

  • guest

    I would like to know why the aircraft in # 4 has its wheels down.

  • guest

    because its photoshopped

  • The Dispatcher

    sure we “could be” on duty for  hours, but can only fly for eight domestically…but saying we are on duty for sixteen ”without a break” is not completely accurate. What happens the other eight hours?  Thats when we are on the phone to crew scheduling complaining about the catering. 

  • Jpoague30

    There was that very successful water landing on the Hudson if I remember correctly.