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13 Things Your Pilot Won’t Tell You

We asked pilots from across the country to give us straight answers about maddening safety rules, inexplicable delays, the air and attitudes up there—and what really happens behind the cockpit door. What they told us will change the way you fly.

By Michelle Crouch
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© Ryan McVay/Photodisc/Thinkstock
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1. “The truth is, we’re exhausted. Our work rules allow us to be on duty 16 hours without a break. That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud.” -Captain at a major airline

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2. “Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, (flight attendants) can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.” -Jack Stephan, US Airways captain based in Annapolis, Maryland, who has been flying since 1984

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3. “It’s one thing if the pilot puts the seat belt sign on for the passengers. But if he tells the flight attendants to sit down, you’d better listen. That means there’s some serious turbulence ahead.” -John Greaves, airline accident lawyer and former airline captain, Los Angeles

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4. “There’s no such thing as a water landing. It’s called crashing into the ocean.” -Pilot, South Carolina

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5. People always ask, ‘What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?’ I tell them it was a van ride from the Los Angeles airport to the hotel, and I’m not kidding.” -Jack Stephan

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6. “I’ve been struck by lightning twice. Most pilots have. Airplanes are built to take it. You hear a big boom and see a big flash and that’s it. You’re not going to fall out of the sky.” -Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina

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7. “The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place to sit is in the back. A plane is like a seesaw. If you’re in the middle, you don’t move as much.” -Patrick Smith

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8. “If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon.” -Jerry Johnson, pilot, Los Angeles

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9. “People don’t understand why they can’t use their cell phones. Well, what can happen is 12 people will decide to call someone just before landing, and I can get a false reading on my instruments saying that we are higher than we really are.” -Jim Tilmon

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10. “Most people get sick after traveling not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch. Always assume that the tray table and the button to push the seat back have not been wiped down, though we do wipe down the lavatory.” -Patrick Smith

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11. “One of our engines just failed.” What they’ll say instead: “One of our engines is indicating improperly.” (Or more likely, they’ll say nothing, and you’ll never know the difference. Most planes fly fine with one engine down.)

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12. Well, folks, the visibility out there is zero.” What they’ll say instead: “There’s some fog in the Washington area.”

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13. “We miss the peanuts too.” -US Airways pilot, South Carolina

Plus: 35 More Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You and 13 Things Your Flight Attendant Won't Tell You

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Your Comments

  • Shennesay

    The reason why is most accidents happen during takeoff taxi and landing, before writing these dumb statements do your research…..

  • Shennesay

    The reason why is most accidents happen during takeoff taxi and landing, before writing these dumb statements do your research…..

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3GWTVPQ7P3BGUI2AN2Q2HDAQCE SOOTHSAYER

    14. “We’re running out of fuel. We’re been running on fumes for the past 5 minutes.”

  • Tiggersf

    Totally agree with number 5! I think we ran about 20 red lights!

  • Ruben

    AND i LOVE TO FLY ON THANKSGAVING WEEK IM IN A FLIGHT TO HOUSTON FROM ONTRARIO

  • guest

    I would like to know why the aircraft in # 4 has its wheels down.

    • guest

      because its photoshopped

  • The Dispatcher

    sure we “could be” on duty for  hours, but can only fly for eight domestically…but saying we are on duty for sixteen ”without a break” is not completely accurate. What happens the other eight hours?  Thats when we are on the phone to crew scheduling complaining about the catering. 

  • Jpoague30

    There was that very successful water landing on the Hudson if I remember correctly.

  • Rylweurmay

    im trying to reach mcvay ryan, can u help me

  • Ryluermay

    im trying to reach ryan mcvay

  • BB

    Give me a break on the truck driver comment.  You don’t have to work NEAR as many hours as a truck driver.  We may have the option to pull over at the next rest area, but we are constrained by as much demand as your airlines are demanding on to get the product to it’s destination within a specific timeline.  Further, the trucking industry has FAR more regulations attached to commercial drivers than any airline pilot will EVER experience.  Thousands and thousands of regulations, all of which we are supposed to know.  You also don’t have to fuel your own aircraft; live in the back of your tractor’s sleeper; deal with the REST of the motoring public out there who are more interested in their text messaging or cellphone call or even their laptop computers.  If you had to deal with that, you would be dodging airplanes all over the place, the skies would be the most dangerous place to be on, or should I say, above the planet.  You don’t have Highway Patrol pulling you over in the air to do inspections at random on your truck.  You don’t have to pull through weigh stations and show all your papers and you better have your i’s dotted and your t’s crossed.  The list is endless.  Pilots have it WAY easier than truck drivers!

    • http://twitter.com/natecapush Nate

      Oh my god, a truck driver has a much easier job, no liability (you aren’t carrying 200 people with you), and you stay on the freaking ground.

    • http://twitter.com/natecapush Nate

      Oh my god, a truck driver has a much easier job, no liability (you aren’t carrying 200 people with you), and you stay on the freaking ground.

      • BB

        Please give me a break, you haven’t got any clue, whatsoever, what you are talking about.  If you did, you wouldn’t speak with such a condescending attitude.  No liability?  No, I’m not carrying 200 people, instead, I’m on wheels carrying 40 tons with traffic and people full of cars all around me, cutting me off all day long and yes, it’s a MUCH more difficult job in heavy traffic than any airline pilot will ever encounter.  Do pilots have to drive in traffic? No, they fly in controlled airspace that is completely controlled by the ground and almost never have to worry about whether a driver around them that is texting is going to steer over into their airspace and collide with them.  You wouldn’t be so smugly laughing if all truck drivers just stopped driving trucks, either.  Your gasoline station wouldn’t have fuel; your grocery store wouldn’t have groceries; your Home Depot would have nothing, on and on and on.  And as I said before, the trucking industry is the MOST highly regulated industry in the United States, bar none, airline pilots don’t have to come anywhere near the knowledge of regulations that truck drivers are forced to know.  You are  a real piece of work, sitting on your throne of all-knowingness, but in reality, you know nothing at all!

        • Seekerdrone

          Every single pilot has to know how to fuel the plane, what fuel it’s takes, everything about each of the instruments, how every part of the plane works, has to know how to read more than 1 map and multiple charts at a time, has to have a very detailed knowledge of weather and how it acts, thousands of FAA rules both for the air and ground, etc etc. I could go on forever about what an airline pilot has to go through but I won’t or I’d be writing multiple books. And yes us pilots deal with traffic too. Not all traffic is talking with ATC so we have no clue what their intentions are.

  • Theblade72

    Number 11 is not completely true. Cell phones would never cause a problem with an analog altimeter which reads altitude based on the aircraft’s static systems. It might cause an error in GPS altitude readings but pilots should be going more by the static system altimeter anyway to gauge their altitude properly, which is set by the local altimeter ( barometric pressure ) setting below 18,000 feet. And in the landing phase the plane will be well below 18,000. Going only by GPS readings is silly and not recommended. I am an experienced pilot so I should know.

    • Piloto

      How about real airliners, that primarily use digital displays, with data generated by static pressure, driven through multiple air data computers. These things are all vulnerable to EM interference, and multiple phones put out a strong signal. Then there is the radar altimeter, used on some of the most precise, low visibility landings. Not to mention the autopilot servos, and the fact the the communication and navigation antennas are spread along the fuselage, literally less than 3 feet from your phone. You know the buzz your car stereo makes as you receive a text message? The same noise comes over the aircraft comm radios too. It would ruin everyone’s day if that buzz blocked ATC giving your aircraft breakout instructions on a PRM (close, parallel) approach, wouldn’t it?

  • Theblade72

    Number 11 is not completely true. Cell phones would never cause a problem with an analog altimeter which reads altitude based on the aircraft’s static systems. It might cause an error in GPS altitude readings but pilots should be going more by the static system altimeter anyway to gauge their altitude properly, which is set by the local altimeter ( barometric pressure ) setting below 18,000 feet. And in the landing phase the plane will be well below 18,000. Going only by GPS readings is silly and not recommended. I am an experienced pilot so I should know.

  • Theblade72

    Number 11 is not completely true. Cell phones would never cause a problem with an analog altimeter which reads altitude based on the aircraft’s static systems. It might cause an error in GPS altitude readings but pilots should be going more by the static system altimeter anyway to gauge their altitude properly, which is set by the local altimeter ( barometric pressure ) setting below 18,000 feet. And in the landing phase the plane will be well below 18,000. Going only by GPS readings is silly and not recommended. I am an experienced pilot so I should know.

  • Tamcgehrin

    um #1 is not wrong but HOS on duty time for truckers is 14 hours.

  • Guest

    #9 is pure BS, 12 calls CANNOT cause a false reading.

  • drr/ATP

    #9 is a false statement.  Cell phones have nothing to do with the altimeter!!!!  They MIGHT cause radio interference (so why allow cell phones on the ground, we are still on the radio to ground control).

    • wikipedia

      Ever heard of a Radio Altimeter?… thought not.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/VPJCGLMMA5RN4PJXJJTU2R3TPY CommonSense

    Point #15.  We now hire flight attendants the size of middle linebackers so that all isle seat flyers get hip checked at least 38 times during the course of a one hour flight.  Don’t like it tough!

  • Bluesuit82

    actually its only 2 more hours than a truck driver…..and while a plane cant pull over on the next cloud, theres no such thing as auto pilot in a truck.

  • Bluesuit82

    actually its only 2 more hours than a truck driver…..and while a plane cant pull over on the next cloud, theres no such thing as auto pilot in a truck.

  • Bluesuit82

    actually its only 2 more hours than a truck driver…..and while a plane cant pull over on the next cloud, theres no such thing as auto pilot in a truck.

  • Bluesuit82

    actually its only 2 more hours than a truck driver…..and while a plane cant pull over on the next cloud, theres no such thing as auto pilot in a truck.

  • Bluesuit82

    actually its only 2 more hours than a truck driver…..and while a plane cant pull over on the next cloud, theres no such thing as auto pilot in a truck.

  • Planes

    #9 Is just total crap. A cellphone simply can’t cause the altimeter to malfunction and give improper readings

  • Piloto

    4 is not right, a lot of planes have landed in the water with no loss of life. An EMB 120 did off the coast of Africa just months ago. Sully’s landing was spectacular and unusual, but not miraculous or a one of a kind event.