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13 Things Your Wedding Planner Won’t Tell You

By Amy Zerello | July 23 2011
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I keep secrets.

At one wedding I planned, the cake went missing after the bride and groom cut it. The bride soon asked where the cake was. Turns out the servers had taken it upon themselves to eat it! We cut the pieces smaller and the bride never knew. Keeping things quiet is the secret behind making the bride think the wedding was flawless.

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It stresses me out...

when the mother of the groom (it’s always the mother of the groom) steps in at the rehearsal to take over and change the plans. And it’s always the mother of the groom who hasn’t contributed a dime or offered even an hour of her time prior to the wedding who acts in this manner.

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I hate feeling devalued.

When a potential client begins to nickel and dime me, I know they do not understand what it is I will be doing for them.

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Don't forget the tax and service charge.

Many couples overlook the “plus plus” when planning a menu. Everything has a tax and service charge, and it really adds up, trust me!

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I still cry at weddings.

Being part of the family for that short amount of time is truly rewarding. It’s when I’m sent baby photos that I know I had a real impact on a couple.

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Your parents are paying?

I hope you understand you may not get what you want!

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I'll go to great lengths to make sure your wedding is perfect.

Your wedding is my job and I’ll do everything I can to make it memorable, including walking miles to a florist in Jamaica to correct the $700 bouquet that arrived to you spray-painted purple.

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We don't wear headsets and heels.

We know the importance of comfortable shoes. People envision The Wedding Planner and think this job is all about glitz and glamour. We’re not Jennifer Lopez.

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Just because you planned your own destination wedding...

doesn’t mean you can do my job better than I can. Yes, you may have found lower rates on Orbitz, but you don’t have access to the contract and package perks that I’m able to offer to my brides.

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You’ve only known each other for 4 months?!

Can I get 100% upfront?

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I do manual labor and other dreadful tasks.

I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve been on my hands and knees, sweating. I sometimes have to count the napkins and linens before they go back to the rental company. I’m talking dirty, smelly napkins, with food, gum and whatever else is on them. Talk about gross!

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Flowers cost a great deal of money.

For the most part, they are flown around the world to their end user. Their prices are affected by jet fuel costs, inclement weather and by the fact that they’re living things that are not manufactured by machines and simply “cranked out.” Likewise, they don’t jump into their vases!

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You can always elope!

It's never too late to run away and have a relaxing wedding. You'll have great memories to share with your friends and family once you're home.

See also: 19 More Secrets from Your Wedding Planner

Sources: Lynn Jawitz (Florisanllc.com) Denise Georgiou-Newell, WPICC, DWC, CSP, TICO (WeDDings Jubilee Planning Services), Tanya W. Porter (Weddings, Etc. LLC), Holly Schoenke (Simply Sweet Weddings), Gregorio Palomino CEP CWP, Candice "Candy" Cain (Candy Cain Travel), Jill Higgins (Jill Higgins Photography), Jules Rupae (Jules Rupae Events)

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Your Comments

  • Tnickinello

    The word “always” is a bit harsh. This mother of the groom statement is offensive.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/zehry.is.awesmazing Zehry Galingan

    So true!

  • ~E

    Love number 9. People truly do tend to jump into serious relationships far too fast when they barely know each other. It’s everywhere in the media-to the point where it’s seen as the norm. What a humorous way to put this disturbing trend. I’d want money up front too!

  • ~E

    number 10 excuse me.

  • Meow

    So . . . 3, you have being devalued. BUT 1, you rip me off??

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DNG7H3Q63YPBN6JDKBDHBS55AY Stacey

    I’m taking the utmost care to NOT butt into my kids’ plans, even though what they plan is very different from what I would do. However, I do send my future daughter-in-law interesting websites & articles including this one…with a note to send it back to me if necessary, lol.