Classic Diner Talk We Dare You to Use

You too can speak waiter, using funny lingo for short-order dishes. We rounded up the ones that made us laugh the most.

from Who? What? When? Where? Why?
Loading

If you're ordering at breakfast:

Adam and Eve on a raft = Poached eggs on toast

Burn the British = English muffin toasted

Sinkers and suds = Doughnuts and coffee

Try asking for these at lunch:

First lady = Spare ribs (think: Adam and Eve)

Burn one, clean up the kitchen = Hamburger

Two cows, make 'em cry = Two burgers with onions

Radio = Tuna ("Tuner," get it?)

On the side?

Sand = Sugar

Twins = Salt and pepper

Sea dust = Salt

Keep off the grass = Hold the lettuce

Paint it red = With ketchup

Warts = Olives

Have it your way:

In the alley = Served on the side

High and dry = Served plain

On wheels = To go

Need a drink?

Blonde and sweet = Coffee with milk and sugar

Squeeze one = Orange juice

Oooh, dessert:

Houseboat = Banana split

Fish eyes = Tapioca pudding


Nervous pudding = Jell-o

Eve with a lid on = Apple pie (more Garden of Eden references!)

Put a hat on it = Add ice cream

Let me get an Eve with a lid on, and put a hat on it = Apple pie à la mode

Last tips:

Bubble dancer = Dishwasher

Soup jockey = Waiter

Keep the laughs coming every week!

Get our hilarious Funny Reads newsletter

Sending Message
how we use your e-mail