How to Rock a Weird Beard and Other Funny Facial Hair Styles

Photographer Greg Anderson captured this first-rate facial fur at the 2013 National Beard and Mustache Championships—but we have some ideas for putting the beardy beauties to work after the show.

By Brandon Specktor
  • Loading
    Greg Anderson

    The Warlord

    Perfect for:
    • Crashing grizzly bear luncheons
    • Preventing tacky Viking-helmet-hair
    • Pillaging Middle Earth

    Greg Anderson

    The Rogue's Smile

    Perfect for:
    • Banana storage
    • Manual head-steering
    • High fiving other mustaches

    Greg Anderson

    The Dreamcatcher

    Perfect for:
    • Teaching trigonometry
    • Skewering olives
    • Completing your Beatnik Santa costume

    Greg Anderson

    The Sly Cap'n

    Perfect for:
    • October accessorizing
    • Maniacal twirling
    • Piloting your whimsical airship

    Greg Anderson

    The Scorpion

    Perfect for:
    • Tickling metal-heads
    • Practicing sailor's knots
    • Giving the beard a stern talking to

    Greg Anderson

    The Angel's Shoestrings

    Perfect for:
    • Decorative spider webs
    • Pretending to uncork things
    • Pirate golf

    Greg Anderson

    The Madman Yak

    Perfect for:
    • Competitive head-banging
    • Becoming one with the willows
    • Avoiding open flames for the rest of your life

    Greg Anderson

    Lucifer's Coathook

    Perfect for:
    • Cleaning your ears
    • Cleaning your neighbor's ears
    • Nonchalantly riding a unicycle

    Greg Anderson

    Cheek Chaps

    Perfect for:
    • Raising a flea circus
    • Pretending your chin is Wolverine
    • Backup prayer shawl

    Greg Anderson

    The Artisan

    Perfect for:
    • Brooklyn entrepreneurship
    • High-stakes darts
    • Seducing octopi

    Greg Anderson

    The Lucky Charmer

    Perfect for:
    • The Civil War re-enactor's Leprechaun Cavalry brigade
    • Tickling just her upper lip
    • Convincing children you possess treasure

    Greg Anderson


    Perfect for:
    • Smuggling starfish
    • Being the most popular sheriff in town
    • Single-handedly keeping the beard-wax industry afloat

    See the rest of Anderson's epic photo album on Facebook.


    Keep the laughs coming every week!

    Get our hilarious Funny Reads newsletter

    Sending Message
    how we use your e-mail

    Your Comments

    • Texxtyn

      All Ugly. uggg

    • Robin S

      Web site broken :(

    • deidre

      How can Seanol be “the only FDA-approved Ecklonia Cava marine-algae extract in existence” when clearly at the bottom of the article it says “The statements and claims made about this product have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). ” And how can it be used to actually treat a disease when at the end of the article it says “This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease”. Clearly someone is trying to scam the public. People will probably buy it anyway in a desperate attempt to look and feel better instead of doing it the old fashioned way of excersize and a change in how we eat. So sad.