Funny Limericks Only Clever People Will Get

Fancy a short one?

By Brandon Specktor
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Alfred T. palmer/ Flickr Commons

Gasman Named Dieter

A forgetful old gasman named Dieter, / Who went poking around his gas heater, / Touched a leak with his light; / He blew out of sight— / And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.

National Library NZ/ Flickr Commons

Runner Named Dwight

There once was a runner named Dwight / Who could speed even faster than light. / He set out one day / In a relative way / And returned on the previous night.

Edmund Beecher Wilson/ Wikimedia Commons

An Amoeba Named Max

An amoeba, named Max, and his brother / Were sharing a drink with each other; / In the midst of their quaffing, / They split themselves laughing, / And each of them now is a mother.

Australian National Maritime Museum/ Flickr Commons

Old Girl of Genoa

There was an old girl of Genoa / And I blush when I think that Iowa; / She's gone to her rest, / It's all for the best, / Otherwise I would borrow Samoa.

NYPL Digital Gallery/ Wikimedia Commons

Lady Named Ferris

There once was a lady named Ferris / Whom nothing could ever embarrass. / 'Til the bath salts one day, / in the tub where she lay, / turned out to be Plaster of Paris.

William Gottlieb/ Flickr Commons

The Star Violinist

The star violinist was bowing; / The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing. / But how is the sage / To discern from this page: / Was it piglets, or seeds, that were sowing?

The British Library/ Flickr Commons

Writer Named Bing

A magazine writer named Bing / Could make copy from most anything; / But the copy he wrote / of a ten-dollar note / Was so good he now lives in Sing Sing.

Sam Hood/ Flickr Commons

Oyster From Kalamazoo

An oyster from Kalamazoo / Confessed he was feeling quite blue. / For he said, "As a rule, / When the weather turns cool, / I invariably get in a stew."

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