That’s not to say we didn’t go outdoors. We just didn’t stay there long. My dad’s favorite way to relax was to sit on the patio with a glass of iced tea. He’d preside over his freshly mowed lawn, enjoy the birds, and watch for the fox. But when the sun went down, he went inside.
Lots of kids grow up gazing at the stars, knowing the constellations. Me? I never noticed the stars. In my early childhood, the darkening shadow of evening was the signal that it was time to hightail it home from the park on my bike. If I had to turn on my handlebar-mounted lamp to see, I knew I was past my curfew.
Then I met the sky. I saw it the summer before seventh grade when we took a family trip to Wyoming. In my mental photo album, I feel the mist of Old Faithful, I smell the store where my dad bought a cowboy hat, and I shiver in my sleeping bag on the overnight rafting trip down the Snake River.
One night, Dad had arranged for us to sleep in a tepee. When the flames died down after our authentic campfire dinner, he kept my little sister, Sara, Mom, and me outside, wrapped us in blankets, and told us to look up, wait, and watch.
Plink, plink, plink. As my eyes adjusted, the stars appeared. Plunk, plunk, plunk. The black filled with white. Plinkplinkplinkplinkplink. Dad revealed the universe.
That Wyoming sky imprinted itself on me.
Decades later, I crave walks in the woods, I love to sit by a lake for hours, a sunset mesmerizes me. And everywhere I go, I look up and search for the heaven I saw that night. I have yet to see that sky again, so utterly aglow. I don’t know if that’s because my kid memory blew it out of proportion or because our lit-up world makes seeing the true sky all but impossible. I just know I haven’t stopped looking.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.