On May 20, as an atomic bomb–force tornado hit Plaza Towers Elementary School in Moore, Oklahoma, at about 3 p.m., teachers scrambled to protect their charges. They herded some kids into bathrooms in the building’s interior, where sixth-grade teacher Rhonda Crosswhite, 44, ran into a stall and lay on top of six students—two under her arms, two under her torso, and two under her feet—to shield them.
“One kid was crying, ‘I don’t wanna die,’ and I yelled, ‘We’re going to be fine.’ ” A cinder block landed on her back, and glass was embedded in her skin, but Crosswhite and the students were able to walk away from the ruins of the school (seven students died at Plaza Towers that day).
Afterward, the teacher (a mother of three) and her colleagues were called heroes, a label Crosswhite rejects, saying, “Every morning at nine, those children become my children. I was just taking care of my kids.”
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.