We all lose papers—scribbled shopping lists, love letters, Post-It Notes. You probably don’t think much of it, but over at foundmagazine.com, users submit these dropped pieces—and oddly enough, in a few funny, somber, or surprising words you can really see a whole life. Some favorites:
• Thinking First: This amusing attempt at self improvement (“I need to start thinking before I say anything”) caused the finder to quip, “This fluttered into our front yard today. Not sure who wrote it, but I’m pretty sure it was meant for me.”
• Maybe Relax A Little: “I found this in the IKEA parking lot on Black Friday,” the contributor wrote of the sarcastic note that begins, “Thanks for blocking my van. Looks like you bumped it too” and ends “Well Merry Christmas.”
• Do You Hold Hands: Found in a high school locker circa 2000, this note channels high school crushes and the days of good old note-passing, complete with girly handwriting and cute doodles. “Do you hold hands?” the author gushes, prompting the finder to recall that when he found it, just post-Columbine, “The sort of 1950s sock-hop innocence of this note helped me remember that the entire world wasn’t always going to hell all the time.”
• Fetid, Disgusting: The author’s adjective-ridden plea to keep those smelly sneakers out of the hallway gave a lot of pleasure to the finder, who picked it up on the ground far away from the scene of the crime.
• Wishing Tree: A child’s simple, touching wish found near a store’s Christmas display caused the finder to realize its heartbreaking beauty.
• Runnie: Found on a front porch, this hilarious child’s note has a tinge of sweet sadness (“Lost Caturpiller 1 inch If found please retern to first house”).
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.