Mitt Romney: The title of this campaign … The Longest Journey.
RD: After all these years as a public figure, do you think the American people know the real Mitt Romney? Maybe I should ask, What do you want us to know about you that we don’t know?
Romney: I don’t think people know me terribly well, because I was governor of one state and haven’t been seen by people across the nation. But they’ll come to know me as time goes on. I’m a family guy. Most important thing in my life by far is my relationship with my wife and my sons, daughters-in-law, and 18 grandchildren. And for me, this is all about them.
RD: This campaign?
Romney: This campaign. The reason I’m in this campaign is for my kids and for their kids, and for the young people of America.
RD: Reader’s Digest is in 76 countries around the world, most of which will publish this interview. So finish this sentence: The world needs the next president of the United States to …
Romney: Keep America strong. Strong in our values, strong in our economy, and strong in our military might. We hope to never have to use our military strength, but the world counts on a strong America to keep the worst actors from doing the worst things.
RD: How about this sentence: Americans need the next president to …
Romney: Build a stronger economy and restore the principles that made America the economic powerhouse it has long been.
RD: A president has to make life-and-death decisions—to kill an enemy of the United States, for example, or to go to war. How would you explain such a decision to a child, perhaps one of your grandchildren?
Romney: The decision to put American lives at risk is a decision that has a very high hurdle to pass. There would have to be a substantial American interest at stake. We would have to understand clearly what our mission was, how we would achieve it. We would need to provide to our men and women the resources to be successful. We would need to understand how we would leave and what would go on after we were home. I would explain to my children very simply that the defense of liberty is a cause that exacts a very high price in the history of humankind.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.