In the Galápagos, there are three common species of sharks. They’re usually not very threatening; they just cruise around. In the early 2000s, some colleagues and I were in about 25 feet of water, counting juvenile fish on the reef. I looked up, and there was a very large shark directly in front of me, and it was heading right for me. A few things went through my mind. The first was, Wow, that’s a very large shark. Second, It’s coming right for me. And third, I do not recognize this. It was not one of the three common species. It was bigger than most of the things I had seen down there. I’d never heard of anything where the species headed straight for a person.
Sharks have a lot of sensory organs on the ventral side of their snout, and I had read that they are very sensitive there, and if you grab that spot, they will stop doing whatever they are doing. So when the shark swam up to me, I essentially punched it with the palm of my hand, underneath its snout. Then the shark and I sat there. It felt like two or three weeks that we hung out. And then it flicked its tail and vanished. The entire thing happened in less than five seconds. We called the boat to come get us. I’ve never swum so fast.
I later looked through all the guidebooks to figure out what kind of shark I had seen. All the shark photos are taken from the side because that’s how people see them—they don’t usually get the front view of a shark. But I’m 99 percent certain that what I saw was a bull shark, which is one of the most aggressive shark species in the world. Sometimes they’ll swim up and bump you. It’s partly territoriality, and it’s partly them investigating you, trying to figure out what you are. I know plenty of people who have been bumped by bull sharks but no one who’s gotten to look at them face-to-face like that. I’m still not sure whether the shark thought I was a sea lion or whether it was just curious. It may have just thought I was a girl shark and wanted to check me out.
As told to Jenny Blair. Ben Ruttenberg is an assistant professor of marine biology at California Polytechnic State University. He scuba dives to study fisheries and map out reefs.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.
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