Read It Here: The World’s Happiest Tweet

Could be they’ve got too much time on their hands, but researchers sifted though 10 million geotagged tweets to determine the  happiest and saddest American places. Happy: Hawaii! Napa Valley! Sad: Louisiana; Beaumont, Texas!  So how’d they decide?  According to The Atlantic, researchers at the Vermont Complex Systems Center  (PDF) assigned a happiness quotient to tweeted words.  Rainbow, love, beauty, hope, LOL, wonderful, haha, sleep, and wine, for instance are super happy, while expletives  and words such as ugly and hate are definite downers.

Not to be outdone by those happy Hawaiians and tipsy wine sippers in Napa Valley, we  challenged ourselves  to come up with the cheeriest tweet imaginable.  Here goes:  #world‘s happiest tweet: Loving wonderful #wine under beautiful #rainbow at super nice #beach!! Hope to sleep great tonight—LOL!! Haha!!

Are we happy or what? As for the saddest tweet? We won’t *%#&! go there. LOL!

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram


A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

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Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.


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Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.


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My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”


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“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

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My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

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Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.