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TwitThisUndertow of Saddness
Later that afternoon Debbie met the choirboys for lunch. One 13-year-old, Seeboe, hovered next to her, laughing and chatting, very much at ease. Another 13-year-old, David, also caught her eye. Every time Debbie looked up, David would shyly smile. She left the lunch knowing there were two she wanted to adopt.David met the boys two days later with several other families. The meeting took place in a park, and David noticed how the choirboys drifted away from their soccer game to push the little kids on the swings or spin them on a merry-go-round. What fine character they have, he thought.
But there were still two important people to tell: the Alexanders' biological children, Josh, 19, and Matt, 21, both away at college. David had called the boys earlier in the week about the possibility of adopting. Matt and Josh were worried about their decision. Through his volunteer work with high-school students, Matt saw how much American society was still divided by race. He was afraid his parents were about to get hurt. What would family and friends say about a white family adopting two black children?
The next morning, the choir official called to tell Debbie that the orphanage had approved the adoption. Overjoyed, she ran through the house to wake David and tell him the news. "Get up! We have two new boys!"
The next few weeks were a blur as David dealt with the legalities and Debbie reorganized their house to accommodate children again.
Then it was time to get all four boys together. Everyone was anxious. Matt later called it "surreal." Josh, who has the build of a linebacker at six-foot-four, 250 pounds, with a shaved head and a goatee, towered over the teenagers, who spoke slowly, mostly in yeses and nos. Gradually they warmed to each other. And the parents and four sons went out to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, David and Seeboe were part of the family. At Christmas, however, their father detected an undertow of sadness. Perhaps Christmas reminded them of their families, lost and left behind. When Seeboe was two, both of his parents had died of bullet wounds, and David's parents died when he was about seven. Surely, Christmas also reminded them of the family that remained. David had two sisters, Mercy, 15, and Teta, 11, and a brother James, 8. Seeboe had no biological siblings, but he did have Joe, 13, a "blood brother" given to him by caregivers at the orphanage.
An idea began to brew in David's mind. But Debbie threw up her hands. "Don't even talk to me about it!" she said when David suggested they adopt four more.
Over the next two months, however, David kept bringing it up. Brothers and sisters needed to be together, he insisted. Debbie, who would have the major share of their care, said no. The financial implications were tremendous -- college costs alone meant she and David would have to rethink their retirement plans. And at the moment, Debbie was overwhelmed with immediate practical and financial concerns: medical and dental visits with whopping bills, shopping trips for clothing, shoes and furniture, and chauffeuring the boys, who were several grades behind American children, to tutoring.
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