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Longing for Love
RD: Does being a celebrity give you a platform?Jolie: It allows me to do certain things. If I do a movie like Tomb Raider, with a big audience, it probably helps me. If I decide to go visit a school in the middle of Kenya, or Russia, the kids will be excited. That's better than having an Oscar.
I went through a depression when I was first famous, because what was I famous for? I didn't do anything great. And I didn't discover anything wonderful.
When I'm in a refugee camp, my spirit feels better there than anywhere else in the world, because I am surrounded by such truth, and family. I feel so connected to just simply being a human being. In these countries, they don't know who I am. I am useful as a woman who's willing to spend a day in the dirt. Maybe it was important for me to know that.
RD: Tell us about your new movie, Alexander. What drew you to the character you play?
Jolie: She's a very interesting mother. She won't allow Alexander to grow up with any fear. She wants him to be extremely hard and brutal; she encourages violence. It was at a time in history when, if he wasn't strong in battle, he could get killed. Today, we can raise our sons to do what they love, even if they're not great at it. She had to raise a son for greatness, because that was how he was going to survive.
RD: You had a pretty rough youth.
Jolie: Like everybody, I went through a teen stage, mine probably in some ways worse than others.
RD: You once had an interest in cutting yourself, of drawing your own blood.
Jolie: I think it's hard for average people to understand things like that. I forever wanted to feel more alive. I did turn to the cutting, and the blood, because then your heart's pumping, and you're bleeding. You're alive.
RD: Was there a time when you didn't want to live?
Jolie: Absolutely. I felt very empty inside. I felt like nothing mattered to me. I still have a long way to go in figuring out who I am, but I know I can be of use to others. I can help give a voice to people who aren't as able to speak for themselves. I can be a mom -- and I know what my son's life would be like if I didn't make that choice. I feel useful in my life.
RD: Did the refugee camps change your perspective?
Jolie: Oh, God, yeah. I really had no idea of the imbalance of the world, and how fortunate I was. My neighbors in Cambodia are land mine victims, and they never complain about anything. They play music; they smile; they raise their kids. They all work together. You put them next to somebody who's stuck on the freeway on his way to his big office, and it puts the world in a totally different perspective.
RD: Is there anything you haven't done that you'd like to do?
Jolie: I'm sure I will live a life of great adventure. I will help where I can. The one thing I am not sure of is if I will do it alone. I would like to believe that I'm going to share my life with somebody, one day. There's something bittersweet when you wake up in the middle of the night, or something amazing happens -- your son walks for the first time -- and you don't have that other person who's going to remember that forever with you. That's kind of the one sadness. But if I only get one great love in my life, him being my son, I'll take him.
RD: And if you get another love, what will he be like?
Jolie: The kind of man I could be with one day would have to be an amazing father, a compassionate, strong, independent individual. I want somebody who demands I be better than what I am today. I don't have that with anyone in my life except my son. My son somehow thinks I can do everything.
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