Facing Fears
RD: There was a stretch when you were No. 1 at the bookstore, the movie theater and on TV. How do you handle the times when you're not so hot?Allen: I just finished a movie with John Travolta, and he was laughing, saying we're lucky we're still getting phone calls. I feel that way all the time. I adore this business, but celebrity is a strange thing. It's a challenge to reinvent myself, but if I don't, at some point I'll get aged out because I'm no longer the leading man. I can be in an ensemble. I wrote Shaggy Dog and the original draft of Zoom. I could direct, but I'm not quite ready to give up being in front of the camera.
RD: Do you find that after 50, your priorities begin to change?
Allen: You bet. In these last couple of years I don't sweat the small stuff. I realize that you don't take a U-Haul behind your hearse. I don't know what I've been waiting for to wear my fancy shirts. I save stuff, but why?
RD: You divorced six years ago and have a new woman in your life, Jane Hajduk. How did the two of you meet?
Allen: She was my personal trainer for a couple of movies, and we kind of connected.
RD: What do you think makes the relationship work?
Allen: It's simple stuff. I have never been with a woman who is a bigger football fan than I am. She's quick. She cares about people. She stayed religious even though it's unpopular. I go to her church with her, and I will sit and enjoy it. It has been flawless.
RD: Does she get your jokes?
Allen: Yes. She always tells me, "Isn't it nice someone thinks you're so funny?" And I think she's very funny.
RD: How do you start again, knowing that love wanes and marriage can end?
Allen: I'm a different guy now. Most of my life has changed because I've been eight years in recovery. I haven't had a drink, and that has altered everything for me. It's a constant struggle with a dialogue in my head, but it's a much better way to live for me.
RD: What is the dialogue in your head?
Allen: Well, I'm a self-destructive guy. I'm a negative guy, but I'm a positive guy. I'm a loving guy. I'm a sociopath. That conflict has to be worked out -- facing fears and uncomfortable feelings. I'm getting much better at it.
RD: What has helped you most in life?
Allen: I've had some moments of clarity, as they call them in AA, when I felt a direct, if not purposeful, connection with that which brought me here. Through feeling that connection -- that there's a purpose to this whole thing -- I can say, "It's going to be all right."
RD: Do you have a code of life?
Allen: Leave it just a little bit better than you found it. I'm starting to wipe up sinks, clean up trash. I do my very best to leave every situation I'm in just a little bit better than I found it.



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