Nurture Family Elders

They carried the burden of caring for your family and leading it to better times. Now it's your turn to dote on them.

• Better America
• Family Life

An Imperative All Should Heed

Who are the elders in your family? The obvious answer is that they are your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and eldest cousins -- basically, any relative who's getting up in years. But that doesn't really answer the question, does it? In a well-grounded family, there is a big difference between being elderly and being an elder.

Elders are the storytellers, the cooks, the jokesters, the historians, the authorities, the knitters, the Scrabble champions, the raconteurs, the workhorses, the nurturers. They are the people we respect and turn to for answers and perspective, thanks to their many years of life. Most of all, they are the people who raised you and your loved ones and helped you grow into the people you are. For several decades, they carried the burden of caring for your family and leading it to better times. Now it's your turn to dote on them. Ensuring the welfare of our elders should come as naturally to us as raising our children.

Unfortunately, too many people take their parents' and grandparents' ability to care for themselves for granted. And in a country where so many of us live hundreds of miles from our families, looking after loved ones can be difficult to accomplish remotely. Even so, you should make sure your loved ones are taken care of no matter where they live, and try to look after any seniors living alone in your neighborhood, too. Taking responsibility for the venerable elders in our society is an imperative we all should heed. It's the mark of a decent, caring citizenry.

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Back in September 1996, I returned from Russia after living there nearly two years. One of the biggest changes during my absence was the advent of the Internet. My sister decided to surprise me by creating "welcome home" signs in Russian. She went to a website that offered translations and typed in "Welcome Home, Cole." She then printed the translated phrase onto about 20 colored cardboard signs. When I got off the plane, the first thing I saw was my family, excitedly waving posters printed with a strange message. My sister gave me a big hug, and pointed proudly to her creations. "Isn't that great?" she said. "Bet you didn't think I knew any Russian." I admitted that I was indeed surprised -- and so was she when I told her what the signs actually said: "Translation not found."

-- Cole M. Crittenden