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Taking Care of Herself
RD: Going home would have been what -- a sign of failure?
Berry: There was a defining moment in my life, something that happened with my mother. I don't know if I've ever talked about this before publicly. My mother was always supportive, but she wanted me to go to college and then try to make my dreams come true. When I moved to Chicago, she drove me there, but I don't think she ever thought it would pan out. After a month or two, I ran out of money and called her. I said, Mom, I hate to ask you this, but could you send me some money? I just have rent money; I can't eat this week. And she said no. It was devastating because she had never said no to me for anything. She said, "I'm not going to start this calling home asking Mom for money. No, figure it out or come home." I was so mad. I didn't speak to her for a year and a half, but for that year and a half, I became totally self-sufficient. I vowed never to ask my mother or anybody for anything, ever. And I didn't. When I moved to New York and hit that hard spell, I was determined not to ask anybody, especially her.
RD: Especially her?
Berry: Especially. I could not make that call. But I'm actually grateful she did that, because it taught me how to take care of myself and that I could live through any situation, even if it meant going to a shelter for a small stint, or living within my means, which were meager. I became a person who knows that I will always make my own way.
Berry: One of the most important charities that I'm part of is the Jenesse Center for battered and abused women and ch
RD: Having been through some of the things you have, how do you keep yourself grounded? I've read that you're a big fan of psychotherapy.
Berry: My mother introduced my sister and me to psychology when my father left -- the idea that we needed to work through what this would mean for our lives. I've been in group therapy, and I know the benefit I've gotten from listening to other people tell their stories. I'm not afraid of talking about how I help myself through hard times, because we all go through it. I have a longtime therapist I stay in touch with. Whenever something is going a little off, I check in and say, Hey, let me get your thoughts on this.
RD: People view you as a sister, and your fans want you to have the best life. After you broke up with your last husband, musician Eric Benét, so many people were in your corner. They want you to be happy, to --
Berry: Get it right. Yup. I know that. And I want people to get it right.
RD: Are your eyes watering?
Berry: Not because of him, but because of the love that's sustained me. I love and support women, and women support me, and it does make me teary when I think about it. Women have lifted me and held me up.
RD: In your new film, Perfect Stranger, you play a kind of tortured soul.
Berry: I play a reporter who goes undercover when a friend winds up dead after having an Internet relationship with a stranger. It's sort of a classic whodunit, very Hitchcock.
RD: What is it like to work with Bruce Willis?
Berry: It's fun. Bruce, who happens to live next door to me, has been around a long time, and he's a guy that flies by the seat of his pants. He brings a lot of spontaneity to a script, always trying to make it better, questioning the words on the page. I got a lot out of working with him.
RD: Is there ever a downside to being beautiful in Hollywood like you are? Berry: Beauty is so subjective.
RD: Well, no one thinks you're not beautiful. Berry: You know what I mean. And I can think of worse problems to have. I'm not one who says, Oh, it's hard being me. But, to be honest, it's been harder being a woman of color trying to make it in an industry where there was no place. There was Marilyn Monroe, but there was no place for Dorothy Dandridge, a black woman who was sexy, who wouldn't allow herself to be put in a box. I've struggled with finding a place to be and be comfortable, and that has nothing to do with beauty for me.
ildren in Los Angeles. RD: Is it, again, your own experience that drives you?Berry: Well, I haven't been a battered woman, contrary to what people have written about me. I'm so not a battered woman. Have I been in physical altercations with men? Absolutely. But the minute that happens, they see the back of me. My mother was a battered woman. She was battered by my father. And I have an affinity for children who live in that horror and fear. I'm moved to want to help, especially in the black community where I think sometimes we're forgotten. I know a lot of attention is put on helping children in other countries, and I think that's important. But I also think it's important that we don't forget the children that are right here in our own communities. RD: What goes on at the Jenesse Center?
Berry: We're putting together a plan for women and children to get the tools they need -- education, therapy and counseling -- so they won't ever have to come running to a shelter for battered women and kids. We want to give them some skills.
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