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TwitThisKeeping the Peace
You think you're pretty honest, right? At least, that's what 2,624 of our readers thought before taking our online survey. Afterward, some weren't so sure.As a nation, we eagerly lambaste politicians and public figures for lying. But as Reader's Digest found out, we're way more lenient when it comes to enforcing our own ethics, and we've developed some creative rationales for our behavior. Virtually everyone who took the survey fessed up to being dishonest at some time in their lives. Only 39 saints (about 1.5 percent) claimed they've never committed any of the 13 acts on our list -- that's if they were being completely truthful. And just one respondent copped to having done it all. On average, respondents said "yes" to five. (To see how you stack up, take the survey.)
Keeping the Peace
Most people say they try hard to be straightforward with those close to them. "Honesty with friends and family should rank No. 1," explains one survey taker. "If you lie to them, it's like lying to yourself." When people do stretch the truth with loved ones, it's often to protect feelings -- and the relationship. For example, faced with a dicey question such as "Does this outfit make me look fat?" 71 percent admitted to fudging. Explains one woman, "If you have spinach in your teeth, I'll tell you. If puce is not your color, I'll tell you that too. But if we don't fib to our loved ones occasionally, we'd never be talking to each other."
Keeping the peace is also paramount to the 32 percent who admit to deceiving their partner about the price of a recent purchase. "If I buy something my husband might question, I put it among other similar items so that when he notices the 'new' one, I can say it's been there awhile," says a 42-year-old woman from Wisconsin. "It's a strategy that has helped maintain our marital bliss."
Same goes for the 28 percent who bent the truth about another relationship, past or present. "I feel some things are better left unsaid if a relationship is to have trust," says one respondent. This may seem like twisted logic, but not to those who have experienced wrath over an indiscretion, especially one long past. "With my last boyfriend I shared everything he asked me about, then he used it against me," says one woman. "Notice he is now my ex-boyfriend."
Bilking the Boss Man
On the job, people seem to have the hardest time being dishonest if it will hurt another individual -- only 13 percent of respondents have ever shifted blame to a co-worker for something they did. But when we think we're only cheating a faceless corporation, scruples can nosedive.
Sixty-three percent said they've taken a sick day when they were feeling just fine. Some swore it was only to care for an ill child or loved one. But many others found playing hooky was perfectly defensible. One woman took what she called Attitude Adjustment Days. "I wasn't really lying to my boss," she says. "After all, my attitude was sick." Some even blamed the company. "I've called in sick when I've slept through my alarm," says a man from Washington. "At my office, they'd prefer you to not come in at all than come in late and show yourself to be irresponsible."
We might want to believe that a day off here or there is no big deal, but this practice costs corporations an average of $645 per employee each year, according to one recent survey.
Then there are office supplies. Seventy-one percent of men and 61 percent of women have pilfered them. Some said it's not so much stealing as a way of getting even. "If they'd pay more, then employees wouldn't help themselves," says a Florida woman, age 39. For others, the feeling that everyone is doing it -- or at least that some are doing it more -- raises the comfort level. "When I worked in a restaurant, I used to sneak cookie dough and pickles," one woman admits. "I felt bad about it, until a fellow employee was fired for stealing from the cash register."
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