I Will Remember

An extraordinary story of memory lost and found.

By Cynthia Dermody
From Reader's Digest
Andrew Engel
Extreme Dedication
Photographed by Stephanie Kuykendal
Thanks to drive, determination -- and his GPS -- Andrew Engel, 30, is finding his way.
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Photographed by Stephanie Kuykendal
Andrew crammed for 12 hours a day, breaking only for meals.
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Andrew Engel
Photographed by Stephanie Kuykendal
Thanks to drive, determination -- and his GPS -- Andrew Engel, 30, is finding his way.
Image Image
I felt it had to be psychological. That I was overwhelmed and it was clouding my mind.

What's Going On?

Andrew Engel was completely confused. Just days into his freshman year at Rutgers University, he was sitting in Sociology 101, listening to other students chime into a discussion. He had no idea what they were talking about. He had done his homework, paid attention to lectures and taken notes, but nothing was familiar. Everyone is so much smarter than I am, he thought. It was a foreign feeling, as he'd always been a good student and had graduated high school with a 3.9 GPA.

The rest of his day progressed like an episode of The Twilight Zone. He got lost, again, on his way to the cafeteria, even though he'd been there a few hours earlier. Back at his dorm, he greeted his roommate with a "Hi, how's it going?" all the while thinking, What the heck is his name again?

He was acting like a person with Alzheimer's disease -- but he was only 17. By the end of September, he'd dropped a class and was studying with a tutor, yet he was still struggling. He decided he had no choice but to drop out, telling his bewildered parents he wasn't cut out for college.

Andrew had long wanted to get a degree and work in health care, and was crushed that his dream had been derailed. He was also distraught about being separated for the first time from his identical twin brother, Jason, also a student at Rutgers. He cried for most of the long ride to his parents' house in Maryland.

They thought it was anxiety and took Andrew to see a psychiatrist. The doctor couldn't pinpoint a cause and blamed stress. But Andrew continued to act strangely and had trouble finding the right words when speaking. He asked, "What's for dinner?" after he'd just eaten. He got disoriented driving the streets he knew so well and, while running errands, forgot why he was out. "It was weird. I'd never had health problems before," Andrew says. "I felt it had to be psychological. That I was overwhelmed and it was clouding my mind."

Andrew's mother grew increasingly concerned about his unusual behavior, and when he started to show physical symptoms, including an unquenchable thirst and frequent urination, she hustled him off to the doctor. A brain scan made it clear: Andrew had a malignant brain tumor. The size of a peach pit, it was pressing on the part of the brain that makes new memories and could be fatal if left untreated. Andrew was scared, but he was relieved that there was a reason for his odd behavior.

"He basically had amnesia," says Andrew's neuropsychologist, David Schretlen, PhD, of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. "This is the kind of memory that people lose as they get older, especially Alzheimer's patients."

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I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicle inspection was required to register my car. I was nervous; my car was in rough shape. I thought of New York State's rigorous inspections. Any number of problems might turn up that would be expensive to fix. I drove down a country road and found a garage that had an inspection sign. When I told the mechanic what I needed, he circled the car, turned on the lights and honked the horn. Then he attached a new sticker and asked me for the three-dollar fee. I was shocked. "Is that all you have to do?" I asked.

He answered, "Well, you drove it here, didn't you?"

-- A. J. Remes, Charlotte, N.C.


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