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Love and Family
RD: A lot of actors say that comedy is harder to do than drama.DB: They're both hard. Maybe the drama is newer to me, so I'm more excited by it, and I feel eager to understand what the process is. But as much as I want to explore darkness, it really is the light that guides me.
RD: Let's shift gears and talk about eating and weight, because Americans seem obsessed with it. How did you drop and keep off 20 pounds?
DB: Well, I fluctuate. I can't live the deprived lifestyle. If I want to eat and not exercise, I'm going to embrace it. But the minute I start to feel bad, I know exactly what to do. Portions are everything.
RD: What about exercise?
DB: I'm a runner and do some yoga, but I can't do a lot of yoga 'cause I'm better bottled up. I have work. I have a great place to put all the emotions, and I'm better served with them coming out there.
RD: You've said that you feel you have a void to fill and a fear to face. What is the fear?
DB: The fear is of people thinking that I'm only capable of doing my job to a certain degree, that I cannot pass that line in skill. I think my other fear is that I don't really know what life is all about, because I haven't become a parent yet. I want to have a family and see the world, but I've always been cautious to not have kids before I'm ready. I've raced through everything in life. I somehow knew, Don't have kids before you're ready.
RD: Do you think your hesitation has to do with having had such a challenging childhood?
DB: Sure. I want to be safe and stable for my children.
RD: Tell us about meeting Fabrizio.
DB: I just love the Strokes. They ended up playing a show a couple hours from where I live. I called their manager, said, "I'm sure everyone's calling, but can I stand by the side of the stage and watch?"
RD: Fabrizio is the drummer. Usually women fall for the guitarist or the lead singer.
DB: I met him, and he was the most lethal combination. He was handsome and kind and smart and funny. Chemistry is everything, but chemistry can evolve, and I don't think it's the best foundation for a relationship. I think brains and creativity and intelligence and aspirations and poetic romanticism are far more lasting. So it was when I got to know him that I realized I really liked him.
RD: Did he feel the same way?
DB: I think I caught him off guard 'cause I'm just a person who knows what she wants. I don't think that life happens by sitting back and waiting. People hold their cards so tight to their chest. Life is short. Tell people you love them. What's the worst that's going to happen?
RD: You were estranged from your father for years, and he died recently. Why was it important for you to reunite before he departed?
DB: I didn't deny him in my life, say, "You can't be in it." He was the person who said, "I can't be a father." I'm sure there was a little girl in me that was disappointed that he wasn't there. I'd always thought that I'd want an apology from him for not being a dad. But when he was dying, I found myself saying, "I'm sorry if your life wasn't everything you wanted it to be, and I love you." I fear going into the next form with bad energy. We've got to let it go, transform it and make it good.
RD: Did you ever get the apology that you yearned for?
DB: He did apologize. I was like, I don't even need it anymore, but thank you.
RD: How are your relations with your mom these days?
DB: She and I are in really good communication. My dad passing was instrumental in us getting back on track. You only have so much time. We needed to take a break -- time-outs are so healthy -- but we have a functioning relationship that works for us right now.
RD: A few years ago, your house caught fire and burned to the ground as you slept. You said that experience changed your life. How?
DB: If something like that doesn't change your life, you must be crazy. But what's interesting is that stability doesn't come from anything material. You're a bird and can fly to the next nest. If your friends are still circling around it, perfect. I didn't lose anything that really changed my life in a bad way. My dogs, my friends, the people I love -- that's all intact. And you can always rebuild. You can always pick up and start over.
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