Comedians Gone Wise

Slightly serious sayings from stand-up's biggest stars.

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A Little Spark of Madness

Offstage, comedians pay bills, tie their shoes, and hunt for parking spaces just like the rest of us. They're good at what they do because they're keen observers of humankind and because they're good communicators. Here are some of their serious thoughts -- more wise than wisecracking.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge


A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are you ready?"
-- Johnny Carson


Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
-- Mel Brooks


If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.
-- Lucille Ball


You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
-- Robin Williams


If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
-- Jonathan Winters


The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
-- Bill Cosby


If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.
-- Jackie Gleason

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“ Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. ”

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I was preparing to teach a college course on the history of movie censorship and went to the library to take out films that had been censored. "Do you have any banned movies in your collection?" I asked the librarian.

"Oh yes," she answered. "We have some really good ones. What would you like: Tommy Dorsey? Glenn Miller?"

-- Paul H. Stacy, Bloomfield, Conn.