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"Asia has its tigers, Africa its lions," says Bruce Means, herpetologist and part-time snake remover. "We ought to champion the eastern diamondback as this glorious creature that's one of the major unique animals of the United States."Interesting words coming from someone who was nearly killed by said snake.
In 1993, Means was on a Florida barrier island when he stumbled upon a three-foot-long diamondback -- "a real beaut" -- which he tried picking up using a small stick and his hands.
Suddenly, a flash of movement. A sting on his right index finger. Means had been bitten. Almost immediately, his arms and hands tingle as the venom courses through his body.
"I just wanted to scream, holler, go ape," he says.
Screaming, hollering and going ape, however, have their drawbacks. Movement speeds the spread of venom through the body. But Means is alone on a deserted island, and being a herpetologist, he knows what to expect: If he doesn't get help soon, he's going to die. Means has to move.
The 2,400 feet back to his kayak feels like a convict's last mile. Means's legs are rubbery, and the tingling has spread to his forehead, mouth and temples. After struggling to get into the kayak, he paddles to the mainland. Most of his body is now numb and he's dehydrated.
Reaching the shore, Means can't move his legs to get out of the kayak. So he rolls the kayak and slips out. He drags himself 80 feet to his car and climbs in, pulling his legs in by hand. Manually placing a foot on the gas pedal, he pushes down on his knee with his right hand -- the only way he can put weight on the gas -- and then drives in first gear to his office, a mile away.
Upon arriving, he exits the car by falling out of it. His arms and legs are now completely shot. Unable even to slither, he rolls -- over curbs, sidewalk, vegetation, gravel paths -- until he reaches the door, where he's found and taken to a hospital.
Did Means's near-death experience change his opinion about this fascinating yet deadly animal? Not at all. It will have been worth it, he says, "if I can get one person not to run over the next snake he sees on the road."
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