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TwitThisIn the Driver's Seat
When I interviewed Tom Cruise on April 7, 2005, the often controversial actor was just beginning his media campaign to promote War of the Worlds. We talked about his religion (Scientology), growing up with three sisters and no dad at home, and his role as father to daughter Isabella, 13, and son Connor, 11, who were adopted during his marriage to Nicole Kidman. At the time, Cruise said that he was dating but not in a relationship, but conceded that he was anxious to find love again -- to find someone with whom he could settle down. Our meeting took place just two weeks before he was spotted holding hands with new flame Katie Holmes. Now, as the first pictures of the pair's baby girl Suri hit newsstands, Reader's Digest revisits our conversation with one of the world's biggest movie stars.Change terrifies most of us. Not Tom Cruise. Want proof? His dad abandoned his family, and he grew up poor. But he stuck close to his mom and sisters, and transformed himself into the biggest movie star in the world. He couldn't read, and teachers said he was dyslexic. But Cruise wouldn't accept that, and finally found the answer he needed -- in church. He appears to thrive on pressures and responsibilities, getting up every morning, strapping on his million-watt smile and going at life hard.
Okay -- this is Tom Cruise we're talking about, one of the highest-paid actors in Hollywood. But when he was born Thomas Cruise Mapother IV nearly 43 years ago, he didn't have money, influence or famous friends. What he had was Mary Lee, his tough, optimistic mom, and a determination not to be just a good-looking Average Joe. "I don't agree with people who say, 'Don't change,' " he says. "When I was a kid, I said, 'Man, I hope life gets better. I hope I change.' "
Cruise worked hard, moving to New York, then Los Angeles, to begin acting, but today credits much of his success to the Church of Scientology, the controversial religion he adopted in his 20s, which has, he says, put him in the driver's seat of life. An advantage of his particular driver's seat is the life he can create for Isabella, 12, and Connor, 10, the children he adopted with actress Nicole Kidman, whom he divorced in 2001.
Which leads to one of the next big things Cruise would like to change: his status as a single guy. To discuss that notion and much more, the War of the Worlds star sat down with RD in Los Angeles.
RD: For years you've talked about wanting to give back, in thanks for your success. You've even helped rescue accident victims and such. Why is it important to you to help others?
Cruise: I was the kid who would help at a nursing home, who would walk people across the street. I wanted to help. I like seeing people do well. Life's about helping each other.
RD: Growing up, you must have wished for some help yourself. Your parents divorced, your mother juggled jobs, and your family didn't have much money.
Cruise: We helped each other. Either you can look at something in a negative way or you can look in a positive way, and then reach to improve. I always thought, How am I going to make this better?
RD: Were you always close to your sisters?
Cruise: Always. Being raised with women, I saw their side of things, how if something happened with a boyfriend, it upset them. I got an understanding.
RD: You seem to have a real respect for women. What is it that you like so much about them?
Cruise: They smell good. [Laughs] They look pretty. I love women. I do.
RD: Was your mom strict? Did she insist that you all work?
Cruise: She didn't have to. We didn't have any money! And it was actually great. This whole idea of not letting children work is ridiculous. I loved working, having my own money, buying things. I took great pride in that.
RD: You reconciled with your father before he died. What was that like?
Cruise: I saw him right before he died, and some of the tools I'd acquired helped me understand him better -- what he was going through and who he was. So I don't feel regret.
RD: Did you feel forgiveness?
Cruise: I understand, which is more important than forgiving.
RD: This man abandoned your family. In the end, did he apologize?
Cruise: You look at people in his position, and you feel bad for them, for what they missed in life. My mom raised us. She saw the glass as half-full. There were of a lot of people that were a hell of a lot better off than we were, but I didn't care. We didn't complain. We worked together. And as a result, we were very close. So I wasn't even looking for an apology from my father. I just wanted to understand him. And I understand now.
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