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19 Funniest Valentine’s Day Cards We’re Buying This Year

I love you with all my butt—it's much bigger than my heart!

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My funny Valentine

Love is a song. Love is a battlefield. Love is pain. Love is blind. Love is an open door. Love is…a lot of things. But the best kind of love is the kind that makes you laugh so hard you snort—and then remember why you fell in love with this hilarious person in the first place. Bring on the funny Valentines! And while you're waiting to deliver that perfectly funny-but-adoring card, check out these totally true love stories to get you in the mood.

lava pop up cardvia

I lava you very much

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Love is like a giant mountain, raining down fire and destruction…oh wait, no! Wrong kind of volcano. This cute card by Lovepop gets punny with a pair of completely non-lethal and adorable volcanoes to share the fire in your heart (in the safest way possible). Plus, who doesn't love a pop-up card? Don't miss these 25 Valentine's Day gifts women really want.

valentines cardvia

They will never find your body…

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Murder is super trendy right now—at least talking about it is. (Hopefully committing it isn't!) Share your love of true crime with the love of your life with this ominous card from NobleWorks. This sentiment is surprisingly fitting when you consider that Valentine's Day has a dark history.

food pun cardsvia

Love you from my head tomatoes

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Pun-lovers will have a hard time choosing the best way to share their love from this assortment of hilarious food pun cards by The Best Card Company. This was our favorite but "You make miso happy" and "Words can't espresso how much I love you" were close runners up! Don't miss these corny love jokes to make your sweetheart smile.

funny valentines cardvia

I love you with all my butt

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What better way to express the enormity of your love than with the most enormous part of your body? Folks with a little junk in their trunk will love this oversize card from NobleWorks. Find out the nine reasons you should be complimenting your spouse daily.

valentines cardvia

You're the only one I answer the phone for

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With all the many, many ways to communicate in our society, talking on the phone is one of the least popular. After all, why take the time to exchange pleasantries when you can get right to the point with a text? Still, there are those few special people you won't send straight to voicemail, like this card from Girl W/Kinfe shows.

monkey valentines cardvia

If we were monkeys I'd pick all the bugs off your fur

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Because nothing says love like delousing one another—however, those truly devoted will also eat the bugs. This cute-but-kinda-icky card from Hallmark, includes a bonus joke on the inside. Short on cash? Consider these budget-friendly Valentine's Day ideas.

im still not sick of you valentines day cardvia

I'm still not sick of you

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This card from Hallmark is perfect for those people who want to give their loved one a card but don't want to all gushy about it. "I told you I loved you once, how many times do I have to say it?" And in the meantime, maybe brush up on how to improve communication in your relationship.

baby yoda valentines day cardvia

My Valentine you are

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Baby Yoda is everywhere these days and you can capitalize on his cuteness by sharing this card by Abe Gallery Art with your favorite cutie. There's also a pop-up option for the ultimate in Star Wars love. Or make your own with one of these 20 powerful Yoda quotes.

smores valentines day cardvia

Love you s'more

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Nothing goes together better than graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows—except you and your true love! Now you can share your campfire feelings with your crush with this gooey card from Hallmark. For more brownie points, make some of the delicious dessert using our s'mores recipe with a secret ingredient.

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